I can't help it (James and Grayson)

Chapter 2

James POV:

-8am on a Tuesday morning-

Last night was intense, I didn't expect Grayson to react so wildly to me hinting at him hooking up with girls. I also didn't expect him to kiss my cheek as he apologised. This boy has got me officially confused.

When I met the Dolan twins, I obviously thought they were mega attractive but there was something that always drew me to Grayson more than Ethan. Grayson was mysterious, I could tell there was a lot more to him than he was letting on. I instantly wanted to crack his shell, the wall he'd built around himself to protect his truth.

Grayson was always confusing me. One moment he would be standing pressed up against me with his arms around my shoulders and the next he's constantly a hundred miles away. It was always on and off with him; although I always treasured the moments he opened up to me. I remember a couple months ago, he asked me what it's like to be openly gay and I told him the truth; the truth about how sometimes it's the hardest thing in the world and there will always be people who want to make you feel bad about it. But also that living as who I'm meant to be is the most freeing and beautiful thing and I surround myself with accepting people who make all the struggle worth it. Grayson was crying by the end of it. He didn't speak to me for a week after that. The most annoying thing about it all is how it made me want to know him even more. See I'm a very persistent person and when I see a challenge and a person who needs help, I feel like it's my duty to help them.

The only thing is... I don't exactly know the problem Grayson needs help solving.

I come back to reality from my thoughts and turn over in my bed, it's empty and cold. He's left. He always does this. Than again it's not like he's my boyfriend and he's has to be there when I wake up. He's not even a hook up. He's this confusing in between where sometimes he acts like boyfriend material and the next he's kissing some girl at a party and than never speaks about her again. I've liked Grayson for a long time now but I've never allowed myself to get truly attached because I know he would only break my heart, every straight boy does in the end. However, that doesn't mean I won't enjoy his company when he offers it. For now though, it seems he's about to go on one of his James Charles cleanses.

I get on with my morning as usual, Emma is the only one who is left downstairs and she's eating my cereal, with the way too expensive almond milk I buy. I can also tell she's on her second coffee from the one empty and one half full mug on the coffee table. God the girls an addict.

"Hey kitty girl" I say in a grumbly voice, as I've only just woken up.

"Hey. If you don't mind I'm drinking that way overpriced almond milk you buy. I mean for that price I hope the fucking farmers milk the almonds themselves!" She exclaims and I laugh.

"I do mind but since it's in your stomach by this point I don't exactly want it back" I say with a joking attitude.

"That's good I wasn't planning on borrowing it" She replies. I love Emma, she's so funny. I honestly think she keeps me young, even if she is just 2 years younger than me. I have a tendency to act way to mature and serious and she knows how to make me laugh and relax once in a while. However, she's also somebody who can go off the grid for a couple days because she's just in a depressive state due to video editing and general life. Everyone has their demons I guess. After her moment of sadness she usually turns up at my door and drags me out to eat and I drop everything I'm doing because I know she needs a friend.

"Hey when did Ethan and Grayson leave today?" I ask her, I just want to know what time Grayson decided he would leave my ass.

"Around 7am, Grayson said he had some kind of emergency. I didn't sleep the whole night again. Fun."