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DAUGHTER: Dad, I'm in love with a boy who is far away from me. I am in Australia and he lives in the UK. We met on a dating website, became friends on Facebook, had long chats on Whatsapp, he proposed to me on Skype and now we've had two months of relationship through Viber. Dad, I need your blessings and good wishes.

FATHER: Wow! Really?! Then get married on Twitter, have fun on 2go, buy your kids on Jumia and pay through Paypal. And if you are fed up with your husband... sell him on OLX.

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