Shock Waves ~Bucky Barns~

Chapter 31:

        I must have drifted off because most of the room is dark. There is this dim glowing light coming from inside and of course my curiosity gets the best of me. I carefully remove the now slightly damp rag and some how manage to get to my feet. While gently leaning on the door frame or opening or whatever it is my eyes scan the now dark landscape.

      A small fire seems to be burning brightly in the distance. I watch as a one armed Bucky throws more wood on it and stokes it. In my head I'm debating whether or not I should go down there and join him or just stay here. Apparently my legs don't listen to my brain as I make my way towards him.

      "You know it's like 90 something degrees out here right?"I ask as I slowly approach him from behind. "It's to help with the bugs and to keep predators away." I nod and sit on this log beside him. "How did you sleep?" His blue eyes practically glowing as they watch the dancing flames. "Pretty good, I actually feel a lot better now." He nods while still watching the flames.

       "Actually Bucky I want to thank you. You didn't have to help me or anything but you did even after everything that was said. So umm thank you." "You don't have to thank me Blue. I would have done it for anyone." I sigh as I feel a slight sting in my chest. He's right, I know he would have and that's the part that hurts just a little. Bucky has such a big heart that so many people don't see, he would help anyone who needed it, just like how he helped me.

          My eyes trace over his features as if this was the last time I was looking at him. Honestly though with his track record it might very well be the last time I look at him. This pain starts to bubble up from deep inside me again, the same pain I felt when I found out he left me. Maybe it's because I know deep down inside I should just walk away from him, I should leave and never come back but I can't. No matter how much he hurt me, no matter how many times I keep mentally telling myself to walk away, I just can't.

           "So how's it been since the last time I saw you? I'm assuming since you're not in prison that means you're a wanted criminal." "You would be assuming correctly. Steve umm broke is out, I have been hiding in Romania ever since." "What are you doing back in Romania?"he asks with this kind smirk. "Would you believe me if I said work?"I ask as my mind remember all the Hydra agents shit by a bullet from my gun. "I would if you weren't you."

        This small chuckle slips past my lips as I look back at him. "Let's just say most of those hydra agents that tortured us are no longer with us." "Wow, never thought you would become the killing type." "Yeah well you got to do what you got to do." My eyes now drift back to the ground. "That's not all you were doing in Romania was it?" "No when ever I wasn't hunting Hydra I was searching for you." "Why?"

       The question catches me off guard as I now stair at him. "Because I loved you and I wanted to be with you." "You don't love me anymore?" Pain starts to fill his eyes at the sound of my words. "Honestly.....I never stopped loving you Buck." Tears start to cloud my vision as the gently fall from my lashes. I try to wipe them away but they just keep coming. "I'm sorry for crying and for everything that was said earlier. I was just hurt and seeing you here....it just killed me."I say as I stand and begin to walk away. "Shhhh hey it's okay."he says as he stands in front of me.

          My hands cover my face so he doesn't see me cry. God I hate crying so much. I don't say anything as I feel his strong arm wrap around me and gently pull me into him. The softness of  his clothes engulfs me in comfort as I try to calm myself. Bucky gently runs his hands through my hair as he tries to help cheer me up. "I'm so sorry for being this way Buck."I sniffle as I cling to him, clutching his clothes.

        "Don't be sorry Blue." I can hear him choke back some tears as he continues to hold me. "The truth is Blue, I still love you. I never stopped loving you and I'm so sorry that I left you. I'm sorry for everything." His words make me cry even harder. My whole body begins to shake as I cry into his chest. I hear his small sniffles escaping him and begin to chuckle a little.

        "Look who's crying now."I play. "Shut up."he jokes. "Why don't you make me Barns." "Alright I will." In that moment Bucky's hand cup the back of my neck while his thumb brushes my cheek, his lips softly, warmly pressing themselves on mine.

    Everything inside me screams with happiness and excitement as I feel every inch of his lips. They were just like I remember, silky soft and so warm. His kiss can bring me too my knees in a matter of seconds. Suddenly he pulls away slowly, probably in need of some air. His forehead rest on mine while our noses brush one another. This huge smile spreads on to my face as my eyes remain closed for just a moment longer. I can feel the warmth from his thumb gently wiping away what's left of my tears.

         "I missed this."he says just barely above a whisper. "Yeah well I missed your metal arm." He pulls away from me and starts to laugh. "I always thought I was going to hurt you with it." "Are you kidding me?! That thing was the sexist thing about about you." "Thanks."he says sarcastically. I chuckle a little as one of my hands runs through his long hair. "What happened to your arm anyway?"I ask cautiously, not sure if it was a tender topic.

"Stark blew it off when we went back to Hydra." "Damn I loved the roughness of the that thing." He lets out a deep chuckle, the light and shadows of the flames dancing across our skin. "You really did love the roughness didn't you?" Now I'm the one left laugh not for long though as Bucky pulls me in for another kiss. Everything in this moment just fades away. Right now it's just the two of us, it's the way it should be. In this moment we are no longer broken, or creations of Hydra, we are two souls tangled together in a dance. That is the way we should be.