i’ve just been pretty sad lately and like. for what? idk i think i’m just jaded bc frick i graduate high school soon and then go off to college??? and my top 3 are in baltimore (6 1/2 hrs away), stanford (way too far away), and new york (3 1/2 hrs away). i mean i could probably just go to busm which is literally in my city but like,, my parents keep telling me to go to whichever school will be best for me and not whichever school is closest to them but like. i just cant. i want to stay close to them more than anything. they’ve always been there for me no matter what. i can’t leave them. lee and i applied to the same colleges and he got accepted into most of the ones i got accepted into so we’re gonna try to figure something out.
lee doesn’t wanna stay really close to his family and honestly i get why. the day of christmas i went out to eat with him and his family in this kinda small kosher chinese restaurant (ejejs american jews have a weird thing with eating chinese food on christmas n his mom is a mizrahi jew) and the christmas music was playing really loudly. like it was even bothering my ears a lil. well imagine what lee, who has hypersensitivity as a symptom of his aspergers, felt. i noticed he had his hands covering his ears so i started rubbing circles onto his back (he says it helps him feel calm) and asked him what was wrong. he muttered something about the music and i offered to ask the manager or whatever to turn it down. his mother told me not to “baby” him, his father was like “lee stop acting up, you’re embarrassing us.” like, no. YOU are embarrassing him and yourself, in front of his aunts, uncles, grandparents, and cousins.
so he just,, stood up from the table. he was soooo angry. (rightfully so tho.) i shot a dirty look at his parents bc honestly i don’t care how they see me anymore after how they treated their own son just bc he isn’t neurotypical like them. i followed him outside and just sat next to him bc honestly? i really was not sure what to say after something like that.
he just took my hand and guided it to his back so i would rub small circles on it like i did before. and wow ma i really am in love w that boy😔😔
so once he was kinda calm again he apologized for me having to see that and i was like????? bby no,,,, that was not your fault at all!!!! and i got my parents to pick us up since lee really didn’t wanna go back inside and he’s been at my house since then. his parents haven’t called or texted. i already hate the in-laws and lee and i aren’t even married yet ugh.
anyway,, chanukah/hanukkah was pretty good. christmas was good besides that whole fiasco surrounding lee’s family. (my family celebrates both lml.)
how has your guys’ december been so far? eating good? getting college acceptance letters? how many high school seniors are even here besides me💀💀
hope u all had a happy chanukah/hanukkah, merry christmas, and/or happy kwanzaa so far. any awkward holiday extended-family dinners? hopefully not as bad as my beloved’s. and happy early new year everyone.💖
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