amnesia || renmin au

fifteen

Renjun's glanced behind his shoulder to check that Jaemin wasn't following him, then let out a shallow breath when he saw he was alone. With shaking hands, he pulled out his phone and sent Jeno and Chenle a message to meet at the cafe across from the school. He eventually made it to his locker and grabbed his coat, heart still beating at an alarming pace. His breathing steadied as he walked to the cafe, knowing his friends would be there for him. He needed to talk.

"Renjun?" Jeno stood up immediately when he entered the building. Chenle's head shot up too, and Renjun saw concern on both boys' faces. Jeno sat down, sliding over a third hot chocolate they bought for Renjun. Renjun collapsed onto the seat across from them and told them what just happened.

"Do you think he remembered you?" Chenle questioned after Renjun finished.

"I think not? Because he asked for my name." Renjun fiddled with his fingers. "But when he held his head and froze for a few seconds, it felt like..."

"He remembered something?" Jeno finished.

Renjun nodded. "Yeah, like it was a flashback or something. What do you think he remembered?"

"I don't know, but it shouldn't be that significant, right? It'll be okay, Renjun," Chenle reached out a hand towards Renjun's to stop him from trembling.

"But he already remembered something! From a single glance at my face!" Tears welled up in Renjun's eyes, but he held back from crying. "I can't let him remember, what do I do?" He looked down at the table, a glossy black surface that reflected his pained expression. "I didn't want to hurt him, but I already am."

The table was silent again, and Renjun sniffled. "I'm sorry guys. I keep burdening you with this stuff. You probably can't help me, I'll try not to bother you guys as much in the future..."

"Renjun, no." Renjun looked up sadly and Jeno looked him straight in the eye. "We care just as much as you do, and you aren't a burden. We're all trying our best, don't be so hard on yourself. We love you," he added softly.

Despite the lump in his throat, Renjun let out a breathy chuckle. "What?" Jeno questioned. "Did I say something funny?"

"I've never heard you say 'I love you' out loud," Renjun wheezed, now full on cackling. "Are you really Jeno?"

Jeno shot back a lighthearted "hey!" as the three boys laughed, the mood slightly lifted.

"Thank you," Renjun smiled. "I'm glad to have you guys, what would I do without you?"

"Of course Renjun, no need to thank us. We'll always be here," Chenle assured him.

A comfortable silence fell over them, and Renjun sipped on his hot chocolate. He looked out the window, watching the light snow fall. It will be okay, he repeated to himself. Things will work out. He looked back to his friends, who were watching him with caring eyes. Yes, he knew they would help him though this, and felt so, so grateful to have them.

~~~~~

A/N:

aah ik i havent updated in over a week, i thought i was gonna write more bc it's winter break but i ended up just lazing around. since it's christmas break i hope yall are getting rest too, health is most important !! uwu 

alritE so as yall can see renjuns kinda getting more optimistic and might finally pull himself out of the guilt and loneliness he's been feeling thanks to his bffs so yay more character development hehe

the shortness of the parts annoys me tbh, but idk how to make them longer,, im pretty bad at angst ok im trying TT  these notes are gonna end up longer than the actual chapters someday,,,

i have no ideas on whats gonna happen in the next chapter so i might not update for a while... until i get inspiration at least. idk if i should have them being emo for a few more updates before meeting for real or if i should speed it up and add more drama.. we'll see :)

yepp thats all i have for now. also i changed my user to sparklehyuck !! heh i just felt like a change; my twitter @ is now softldhs too , rip sivansieu i already miss it. but yEET just letting yall know so you dont get confused :)) 

*smiley face intensifies*