Functioning

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It's terrifying, waking up,  not knowing where you are. Connor shivered in the morning sun. Turns out Hot Topic, doesn't keep you hot. Quite the opposite. His thin zip up hoodie was soaked through. He checked the time, three and a half hours until the start of school. Oh great, plenty of time to bum around in the cold.

Connor walked to the nearest convenience store and rattled all the change he could to buy a hot tea. He nicked a hairbrush and bands as well, they weren't essential but he hoped they may make him look slightly less like he'd spent the night on a park bench. He found the 'Evan freak-out tree' and sat down sipping his tea and feeling instantly better. Because tea is better than drugs kids!

Taking a few deep breaths he allowed it to sink in. For right now, he wasn't going back to the house. He knew it was dumb and likely to ruin future prospects for education and the such. Not to mention he didn't have the money. And above the rest, despite his nearing adulthood, he wasn't ready. Sure he was a loner but this was a whole new kind of alone. The kind were you could pick a direction, walk all day and night, forget to eat and just think forever. Like proper lonely alone.

But really, did he regret it? No. It was okay he wasn't ready to take responsibility. He's 16 for christs sake! It's good he stormed out, if he hadn't he'd have gone insane. His only regret was not filling a bag to take with him. He's alive and okay. Evan's alive and okay. Everyone is okay.

Plan time: go to school, swing by after to pack a backpack and thick coat, go to the local youth hostel. Connor was going to be alive and okay. Not on peak performance. But present and functioning and that's enough sometimes.

There were a few fleeting moments wondering thoughts and blank mindedness. Then came and unwelcome longing. Like when you're somewhere between 10-13 and you know your a mature teen but it's one in the morning and you want nothing more than your parent to hold you. That feeling from somewhere in your chest. Connor got that but rather than a wanting for his arse hole parents he got it for his boyfriend (who has his fave arse hole). It was one of those were it feels stupid but important. Fuck, he was pulling an Eponine.

The feeling passed but still left him uneasy, as about an hour had passed it was socially acceptable text time (8:15). So that's just what Connor did.

~~~

Connor not-Murphy:
Hi

:Evan-the-shit

Connor Hansen:No

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Connor Hansen:
No.

:Even Handsome
Yes?

No.:
NO STILL MEANS NO. why you gotta be so rude?

:Evan Hand-Job
ALL THAT I COULD SAY WAS UMM UMM YEAH YEAH UMM UM UMM YEAH YEAH

No.:
Ye wut lass?

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