Chapter 10

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The guys had crashed over here tonight, but Shayley and Jaxin had to catch a bus early so it was just me and Alan.
He was sitting on my lap as we ate breakfast and discussing how to pronounce tomato.
"to-may-to"
"to-mah-to"
"to-may-" i got cut off by the front door opening.
"Austin! I'm home!" my dad cheered from the hallway.
Alan quickly got off my lap and took a seat in the other chair.
"hi dad, in here!"
He made his way to the kitchen and hugged me tightly.
"hi Alan" he smiled at my boyfriend, which he didn't know he was.
"hi Mr.Carlile" Alan replied smiling.
A woman with dark brown curly hair, wearing a red blouse and jeans appeared behind him and wrapped her arm around him.
"erm dad? Who, who is this?"
"son" he sighed, "should we have this talk under 4 eyes?" he took my arm and pulled me to the living room.
"dad who the fuck is that woman?" i hissed at him.
"her name is Precila" he started "i have known her for a long time, she works with me, and since your mother is gone she has helped me a lot, we confessed that we liked each other on this trip, so we're officially together now"
I felt rage burning inside of me, "3 months dad, she had BEEN GONE FOR 3 FUCKING MONTHS AND YOU'RE ALREADY TRYING TO REPLACE HER? WITH SOME WHORE, YOU NEVER LOVED MOM DID YOU, YOU NEVER LOVED HER, HOW LONG HAS THIS BEEN GOING ON? DON'T BULLSHIT ME DAD"
He sighed, "a year maybe.."
I clenched my fists, "YOU NEVER LOVED MOM, SHE GAVE US EVERYTHING, AND YOU JUST THREW IT AWAY, HOW COULD YOU DAD, YOU LYING CHEATER, YOU MAKE ME SICK, SHE LOVED YOU WITH ALL HER HEART, I'M LEAVING, GOODBYE "DAD" " i stomped out of the front door to the park across the street.

*flashback*

"higher, higher!" i squealed while my mother pushed the swings.
"higher mommy, higher!"
"okay baby" she pulled the swing back and counted back from 3.
"3..2..1!" she let go of the swing and i swayed forwards.
"i love you mommy!"
"i love you too Austin"

*end flashback*

The swings weren't the same anymore.
The thing that once gave me pure happiness brought me to tears.
I swinged back and forwards slowly watching my feet slip across the ground.
Why did she have to leave?
Why couldn't it be me?
I would much rather be dead than having her gone.
I miss her.
I miss her so much.
I hope she's happy up there.
I hope she smiles, when she looks down on me.
"I love you mom" i whispered at the grey sky.
It started raining softly, making my face already wetter than it was from my crying.
Fucking cliches.
I looked down on my arms and trailed some old scars with my index finger.
"Austin.." a soaking wet Alan was standing in front of me.
"what" my voice cracked.
"are you okay?"
"do i look okay?" his brown eyes met mine.
He shook his head, "do you want a hug?"
I nodded while standing up and falling into his arms.
I started sobbing in his already wet shirt while he stroked my back.
This must've looked really weird for anyone passing by but i honestly didn't care.
"hey baby it'll be okay" he whispered into my ear.
I shook my head, "it won't" 
I started sobbing harder and Alan lowered us to the ground and pulled me on his lap.
He kissed my cheek softly and wiped my tears away.
"baby" he took my hands in his and kissed them.
"everything will be okay, I promise" he kissed my cheek again.
"i don't know Alan, he cheated on my mom and is now going out that whore, i get beaten up and bullied every single fucking day, i get blackmailed, i don't have a mother anymore, tell me what would be okay in my life?"
He looked at me confused, "blackmailed?" 
I now realised what i had blurted out.
Shit.
"uhm..uhm i uhm"
"tell me Austin, you can trust me.
"Clark had taken pictures of us making out and threatened to show my dad so now i buy drugs for him and in return he will keep the pictures to himself" i rushed out.
"I'm sorry Alan"
"why didn't you tell me this before?" his face went emotionless.
"i don't know I'm sorry"
He was staring into the distance, probably wonder how much of an idiot i am and ways to break up with me.
He bit his lip and brought his attention back to me.
"how long has this been going on?"
"since the time we first kissed, when we were drunk"
He took a deep breath.
Here it comes.
"Austin.."
I nodded.
"i think we should.."
There it is.
"agree that that was a pretty stupid move to not tell me"
(a.n.: i got this idea from my gf who sorta pranked me with this, you know who you are Shaheen)
"so you don't wanna break up?"
"fuck no! We'll get through it, together" he put out his pinky.
"together" i laced my pinky with his and shook it.
He kissed my lips lovingly before we got interrupted by a cough.
"ha, now well this is something"

---------

I SAW OF MICE AND MEN LIVE YESTERDAY

OMFG DUDES, ALAN AND TINO SMILED AND WAVED AT ME, I KINDA HELD AUSTIN'S HAND AND PHIL SMILED SEVERAL TIMES AT ME WHILE PLAYING (I WAS REALLY CLOSE TO HIM HIS HAIR IS GORGEOUS BTW)

THEY'RE SO GOOD LIVE IT WAS SO AWESOME

AND SHAYLEY BOURGET LIKED ONE OF MY PICS ON IG

YESTERDAY/TODAY (BC IT WAS UNTIL LATE DUH) WAS AMAZING

*SCREAMS INTERNALLY*

*deep breath* so thanks for reading, kinda a short chapter i'm sorry

and oooooohhhhhh a cliffhanger

who do you think it is?

Love, Malene

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