Decaffeinated

five.

“Sana.” I heard Momo's voice fell.

Fuck. Be strong, Momo.

“What are you doing here?” I see Momo's hands were clenched. Before Sana says anything, she looked at me. “I... I just want to get my clothes.” she stuttered. “Is that all?” Momo's brows furrowed. Sana nodded.
“Wait here.” Momo unlocked the door to her apartment and turned on the lights. Me and Sana stayed outside.

“So, you and Momo are together now?” Sana suddenly turned to me. I shook my head. “No, I just accompanied her here because she got anxious on who the caller was.” She nodded and looked at me straight in the eyes.

Too much eye contact.

I broke my stare and looked at the facade of the building.
“Your eyes wants it.” she said.
“Want what?”
“You, and Momo being together.”
“What are you even talking about?”
“The truth.”
“How can you know the truth when you don't even know me.”
“Eyes don't lie, and I know it so well.”

Our conversation stopped when Momo went outside with a bag.
“Here's your clothes. Now go.” Momo said coldly. Sana nodded. “Yes, thank you. And sorry for calling you baby earlier. I got carried away.” she bowed and went off.

I felt Momo's knees were shaking. I can't blame her, I was like that back then, too.

“Momo, what time is it?” I went closer to her. “12 AM, why?” I smiled at her widely.
“Which means we can move on to the next step.”
“Which is?”
“Stop contacting your ex. If you happen to bump into her, ignore her. If you have to deal business with her, act professional.”
“I think I can do that.”
“That's the step for today. Also, be strong and don't let your feelings dominate your body. Think before following your heart.”
“You talk like you're so experienced with this.”
I chuckled. “Because I am. I'll tell you that some other day, but right now, I have a question for you.”
“What is it?”
“When does your work end? Like when do you finish directing the movie?” She fishes out her phone to look at her schedule.
“The day after tomorrow. Why?” I smiled. “Clear all your schedule after that. We're going out for a few days.” She tilts her head. “Where are we going this time?”
“It's a surprise. Trust me, you'll like it.”
“Okay.”

We bid our goodbyes and I went back to my condo.

It was a nice day; me hanging out with Momo for a whole day. I never thought that I would be with her for that long. I've been having these feelings towards her for as long as I can remember. I've been indenial at first but I accepted it little by little until here I am, head over heels in love with someone I barely know. It doesn't matter to me anymore though.  I'm fine with her being around the shop and all. I never really wanted anymore greater than that. I just want her to be happy, even if I'm not the cause of it.

I finally arrived at my condo and Jihyo, my cousin, was there as well.
“Jeongie! You're here!” she jumped and hugged me, I hugged her back. “Yeah. I took a couple of days off. I'm in dire need of rest, since I've been working my ass off for the past months.”
“That's good, unnie. I'm glad you finally decided to rest.”
“I'm gonna stay here for only two days. I'll be going to our rest house in Jeju on Thursday.” Jihyo nodded.
“You're going all out with your vacation, unnie. That's great.”
“Uh-huh. But Jihyo, you're good at advices, right?”
“Others say that. I really don't know.”
“Then I need your advice.”
“Is that about the girl you like that has a girlfriend or something?”

What the heck? How does she even?

“Wait, how did you know about me liking someone?” Jihyo really amaze me sometimes. Maybe that's why she's called by her friends a 'God'. “You often sleeptalk about her when you were still sleeping here. And when a day you were drunk as hell and kept on rambling about it.”

Me? Drunk? What the actual fuck?

“Okay enough about that. I need your advice.”
“Well, what's up now?”
“I'm trying to help her move on. Her girlfriend broke up with her and here I am, being the stupid person I am, hoping that if I do that it'll probably help me to get her.” She shook her head.
“It doesn't work that way, unnie. If you want to help her you can, but getting her through that should be at the back of your head. I know it's hard but you have to, since you've put yourself into this crazy idea. You should be ready in whatever comes to you after this. That's the only thing I can say.”

I've realized how stupid I am. Love can really make you do stupid things, huh? I didn't even thought of that when I said that to Momo. And here I say to her to use her brain when I myself can't use it properly and let my heart win everytime.

“Thank you, Jihyo. You really now what to say.” Jihyo nodded.
“No problem, Jeongie. Oh and can you reach my biology book for me in the living room? Thanks.” I laughed and went outside our room.

I reached out for Jihyo's book at the table. I saw a glimpse of something shining on the couch. “Huh?” I get it and observed what it was. It was a necklace with a heart. “A locket?”

I tried to open it until it unlocked. It was a picture of Sana kissing Momo on her forehead. My heart suddenly felt sqeezed. I closed it again and put it in my pocket.

Damn, you really love her, huh?

The thought of Momo being in love with someone, that she could move heaven and earth for them, catch a bullet for them, die for them, makes me sad and makes me feel hurt. Sana was stupid for leaving a girl like her, a girl that I can only have in my dreams. A girl that I've been wanting to have in my arms for the longest time. If I wasn't so indenial back then, she should've been mine, until now.