It's Not in My Programming

One: Different.

"what do you mean masturbation isn't apart of your programming? your programming doesn't matter anymore, you have free will now. you can do whatever you want." he says with a smile, still coming down from his small fit of laughter. what was so funny?

"no, i mean, i don't have the physical capabilities to masturbate."

that makes the smile fall off of markus' face fairly quickly, it being replaced by a look of confusion.

"you mean-"

"i was never given genitals. after all, i'm merely a prototype."

that launches them into an awkward silence. at least, connor thinks it feels awkward. he's never felt it more than he feels it right now. surely markus had to have known that connor didn't possess genitals, right? that had to have been common sense in some way.

"well..." markus trails off, choosing his next words carefully. "would you like to have them? i know several other androids who didn't have genitals either but were able to get them in a fairly simple procedure."

connor's LED spins yellow again, trying to think about the pros and cons of having his very own penis. pros: he could masturbate, he could even have sex, and he would be more human-like than he's ever been before. cons: did androids get surprise erections? would it be able to feel pain, since connor had the pain and pleasure upgrade? or would it feel so overwhelmingly good that he'd short circuit?

"i can tell this is a hard decision to make. how about you go home and think about it, then let me know."

connor lets his LED flicker back to blue, and then he stands up. he really doesn't want to cut this visit short, but he knows that the tension has promptly ended whatever conversation they could have had.

"that's an excellent idea, markus. i'll message you as soon as i come up with my answer." with that, he turns on his heel and rushes out of the room as quickly as possible. he's finished talking about such a strange topic with someone he wishes to impress. who is he going to impress if he's still just an android with a smooth crotch?

as soon as he walks back into their home, hank is on the couch with a sleeping sumo. he lazily turns his head to look at connor, then turns his attention back to the movie on the television. connor feels bad.

he takes a seat next to his father figure on the couch, messing with his fingers because he left his coin in his jacket. of course he did.

"hank, i apologize for our argument today before i left. sometimes i just like to be by myself and go places on my own." he tries explaining, but hank keeps his focus on the tv. "if it helps, i was only going to jericho. i had something important to talk to markus about."

that peaks hanks interest only a little, but he continues to ignore the android, which greatly frustrates him.

"hank, please. i didn't mean to make it seem like i was keeping something from you. it was something private that i had to talk to markus about."

"what could be so damn private that you can't even tell me where you're going?" hank snaps.

"i want a penis." connor blurts.

hank chokes on his breath and starts coughing, jolting sumo awake. the dog, annoyed, gets off the couch and wanders over to his rarely used dog bed where he plops down to go back to sleep. hank, however, continues coughing. connor scans him to make sure he's okay.

"fuckin' androids-" hank groans and rubs his face once he can comfortably breath again. "why the hell don't you already have a dick? and why do you need one?"

"well, i'm only a prototype, so i don't have any reason to have one. as for why do i need one, i really don't. sex isn't a part of my programming. i guess i just want one to feel more real- more like a human. markus has one i think, i don't see why i shouldn't have one too."

"so what, you're like a barbie doll down there or something?"

after a quick search on the internet, connor nods his head. "i suppose i am like a barbie doll, yes."

hank sighs and rubs his face again. "are you trying to get involved with markus or something? because i don't want to have the talk with a grown ass-"

"no," connor remarks, blushing deeply. "i can assure you that i don't need any sort of talk about intercourse. i'm unable to do it, so there is no purpose for me to have any further knowledge on the subject."

"right..." hank trailed off. "from now on, i think i'm okay with not knowing where you're going. jesus..."

that night, connor was stuck composing a message to markus while he was supposed to be in standby mode. hank had already gone to bed hours ago, leaving connor to his own devices on the couch. he supposes now would be the optimal time to masturbate, if only he had the hardware to do so.

i want the procedure, markus. i think i'm scared, but if it will make me more alive then so be it.