left my heart out // n.h.& l.p. au love triangle

vii. set my heart on it

When I get to the coffee shop the next day, Niall's already there. He's sitting at a table by the window, his stuff spread out over only half of it, and even though there are other empty tables, I go over to his. He looks up at me and smiles, and my heart beats loudly in my ears as I sit down across from him. I'm wearing his scarf again: that's part of the plan. I need to set things straight between Niall and I, and I need to do it today.

I don't say anything as I unpack my bag, taking out my architecture history textbook and my music theory notes. But I can tell Niall's watching me, and I'm sure he's noticed the scarf. I almost want to take it off, but instead I leave it hanging around my neck, even when I slip off my coat and hang it on the back of my chair. I wonder if he can tell just from looking at me that I've spent the past 24 hours thinking about him, wondering about what it is I'm doing with myself. He was my first thought when I woke up this morning, and if that's not a sign that I've officially lost it, I don't know what is.

"Q," Niall finally says, breaking the tense silence, which may or may not be all in my head. "Is that my scarf?"

"You said I could have it," I say, recalling that he was drunk at the time, and maybe he didn't mean it. I'm suddenly anxious, worried that he's going to ask for it back right now. "Do you want it back?"

Niall stares at me for a moment, thinking, his head cocked to the side like I've seen puppies do. Then he smiles, dimples making craters in his cheeks. "No, that's okay. It looks good on you."

I want to deflect the compliment, but instead I find myself blushing. I look down at the table, and at the splash of coffee that somebody didn't clean up earlier, and mutter, "Thanks."

"No problem," Niall says. I swear I can hear him smiling.

I open up my music theory notes and try to read them over in preparation for a quiz I have on Friday, but I can't focus. I'm still not sure that my interest in his laugh and his scarves and the way he smiles mean that I like him. Maybe I'm just oddly fascinated with the minute details of his being. But I know that I can't wait any longer. I have to know for sure. I have to cut this thing off before it grows any bigger. And by "this thing," I mean my heart, and its feelings toward the bloke sitting across from me right now.

After 15 minutes of not getting anything done, I decide that I can't wait any longer. I have to ask him, and I have to ask him now. So I look up and tell myself to stop blushing as I ask, "Niall, why does Liam think I like you?"

Niall's head shoots up. He was reading, and his finger hovers over the line where he stopped. After a few seconds of staring at me, he folds over the corner of the page and closes the book. "What are you talking about?"

"He told me that I have permission, that it's okay with him, if I like you. But I never said–"

"Oh," he says, blushing. "I can explain that. It's because I asked Liam if it was okay if I asked you out."

"You were going to ask me out?" I ask. My stomach flutters, and my mouth is doing something, but I can't tell yet if it's a smile.

"Yeah, I was." He shrugs, biting back a smile. "And I'm still going to."

"You are?" I mean, I know I've been obsessing over this for the past 24 hours, but that doesn't mean I thought it was real. I've been known to create romantic fantasies in my head before – my entire relationship with Liam, for example. I remember what Lila said, that Niall obviously likes me, but I have no idea how she knew that when I didn't even know it until right now. Lila's never even seen the two of us interact, and she knew. "Is that why you've been hanging around me so much lately? And why you keep buying my coffee?"