𝑎 𝑛𝑒𝑤 𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑑 𝑜𝑓 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 * 𝑏𝑜𝑜𝑘 𝑖

𝒆𝒍𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒏

I couldn't understand the determination, the pure determination to make me feel so small and trapped and for him to crush any chance at repentance for my actions; I was sick enough that I agreed to the deal but also sick enough that no matter which way I looked at the situation I was just as bad as him. 

just as selfish as him, selfish for not being able to refuse him.

we're college kids this is supposed to be some of the best times of my life right? so why does it feel like a nightmare that won't ever stop?

I felt myself break from my thoughts as I heard the 2 familiar voices, I quickly took a t-shirt that sat on my cluttered bed and wiped at the stains under my eyes. it wasn't as clean and proper as earlier but it was better than nothing.

I stepped out of the room seeing historia waving over, "where's eren? I thought you were keeping him company?"

eren this eren that.

"oh, he stepped out and said he had to go somewhere."

historia solemnly rested her head on the kitchen counter as Sasha put up the newly bought drinks into the fridge, "I don't get him! he never answers me and the moment he calls me he wants to come over yet won't stay?"

I sighed fiddling with my fingers, "maybe you should let him go it's only causing you-"

"y/n respectfully you're biased you're the last person I need advice from."

ouch.

so much for that bullshit apology then.

I heard a loud slap echo in the kitchen and Sasha's face light up red, historia grabbed at the back of her head, "HISTORIA!"

"sorry y/n," she mumbled

yeah, kiss my ass.

"it's okay you're right I am biased." I tried to laugh it off knowing I wanted to say something so much different. 

"you know I'm not really in the mood to drink, I need to finish my project so I'm gonna step back in my room." I swung back and forth on my tippy toes letting my eyes dart between the two.

"Yeah actually I'm gonna head out too, I have to go handle something."

"handle something where?" I and historia asked almost in sync.

"uh me and Connie and at his dorm, just miss that d-'

"Okay, I don't even wanna know the rest." I grabbed her stuff handing it over and nudging her out, as the door closed behind her historia didn't echo a word and she only moped walking into her bedroom.

before I could turn and make the same walk my text ringtone sang throughout the kitchen, it was a message from Sasha.

sasquatch👩🏻‍🍳

sasquatch👩🏻‍🍳: I didn't wanna say this with historia around but when I come home me and you need to talk.