My Heart Beats For You // Alice Cullen

32. The Sequence Of Events

"You didn't even invite me..."

"I didn't think you'd want to come." I shrug small.

His face turns angry. "Are you fucking serious? I though I was your best friend!"

"Yeah , I though that too!" I yell. "Were you ever going to tell me you were friends with them again? Were you ever going to tell me you audition for fucking broadway?!" I yell.

Edward walks over and gently lays a hand on my shoulder. "Why don't we go inside, in the private?"

"Fuck off Cullen!!" We both yell, not breaking eye contact.

"Well at least they agreed on that." Esme mutters with a sigh as Edward holds his hands up and steps back.

I glare at Parker. "You kept secrets from me too, Parker, I am not the only one in the wrong here. What, did you think I wouldn't want to celebrate you?"

He swallows hard. "Look, while you were away Celia and AJ got talking with me again, like old times. We hung out for a bit and I got the news about Broadway when I was with them. I hadn't told anyone and next thing I know they're throwing a huge party for me, and then another. It just.. It was fun. I couldn't face your calls because I felt like I'd cheated you. And I didn't want to invite you because I was scared you'd relapse."

"Already did." I scoff.

He tears. "No... When?" he whispers.

"None of your business." I snap and storm inside, slamming the bedroom door and sitting on the edge of the bed with my head in my hands. I hear whispering outside the door and I sniff. "Go away!"

Someone sighs. "Sweetie, cmon now don't cry." Esme says softly.

I laugh coldly. "Why? Nothing can ever go right can it? Alice and I should just elope. Knowing my luck my mom will turn up next." I scoff and wipe my cheeks on my sleeves.

"Please let me in." Parker whispers. "It hurts me knowing you're hurting and I'm the reason why."

"We've never been like this, not since high school. Why did you think we weren't friends with them? I bet Celia loved the fact I'm mentally unstable." I scoff.

"Don't ever refer to yourself as that." Esme scolds. "Now let him in or I'll be mad at you."

I groan in frustration. Esme has never been mad at me, so when she says she will be I kinda know she's telling the truth. I reluctantly open the door and walk away from it as Parker comes in alone and closes it again. His sad eyes stare at me for a moment.

"When?"

I sigh and run my hand through my short hair. "The day we got married. I found out mom was moving away without telling me and I couldn't take it. I sent Alice to the store to get me something and I found an old bottle of wine in the cupboard. I didn't drink much but it still counts as a relapse to me." I whisper, my back to him. I play with the tissue paper hanging out of the shoe box containing my white heels.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't there. I'm so sorry..."

I shrug small.

"What was the wedding like?" He asks gently.

I shrug again. "I couldn't understand the vows but I loved it. Last minute - just like always. The man had never married a gay couple."

He giggles small. "Wow, was he terrified?"

"Probably." I smile small. I look over at him and we stare at one and other for a moment before we both fling ourselves at each other and burst into tears. Just how things are always solved.

-

We all sit around the fire pit on the porch, we being Parker and I, Alice, Edward, Renesnee (Parker thinks she's Edwards niece), Jasper and Rosalie, along with Tanya, Garette and Kate. I lean my head on Alice's shoulder and smile to myself.

"What kind of cake did you guys go for?" Parker muses as he lays on a blanket.

"Chocolate. And red velvet." Alice smile. "As if she'd let us have anything else."

I shove her playfully as everyone laughs. I look up as some of the Quileute boys come out, Jacob Black leaning in the doorway. He looks at me. "May I have a word?"

"Um... Sure." I say quietly and stand, keeping the blanket around me as I follow him inside. I hear Edward whisper to Alice what's going on, but I don't quite catch the words.

Jacob and I sit on the couch. "So... I bet this is odd coming from me." He says gently.

I nod small, not sure what be means.

"Your mom... Has been trying to contact you. I understand you blocked everything to do with her." He says.

I take a shaky breath - I was only joking earlier when I said next thing would be my mom showing up, I don't want that to happen. Please God don't let that happen. "I have, yeah, why?"

"She's trying to make amends, I believe. She came here when you were away but we thought it best to tell them you moved and to not tell you. She's hired a private investigator now, but he can't find anything because Jasper and Emmett have been throwing his trail everywhere. Carlisle and I have been working out a way to approach this best and I think it's just best to be direct." His brown eyes are soft.

I tighten the blanket around me and take a shaky breath. "Thank you, I appreciate that... Um, I'm sorry what are you asking?"

"I am asking if you would like me to contact her on behalf of you and arrange something, something in the future after all of this." He says gently.

"I... I don't know." I whisper as my voice breaks. I'd love to see my sisters and dad again, but it'll be like starting over. "I mean I'm gonna have to say goodbye soon anyway, I'm gonna be one of the Cullen's in every way.... I don't want to mend bridges just to be thrown off course again when my life changes and they can't be apart of it."

Jacob nods in understanding. "That's understandable. But isn't it better to mend any bridges you can while you're still human? You may take decades to get in control once you're no longer human and by then it'll be too late to make amends with your parents or sisters. Is it not better to do it now?"

I rest my head in my hands and let a few tears fall. "I... I..."

"Send a letter." Alice says gently; I feel her sit beside me and wrap her arms around me. "Write a letter and explain, let it be so we can enjoy the next few days and weeks. Is that okay?" She looks at Jacob.

He nods. "Course. I'll deliver it tonight."

Alice smiles small and kisses my forehead as I lean on her. "Let's go write it, okay?"

I nod small and let her carry me upstairs, setting me on the bed. I cross my legs as she gets me some paper, a pen and a hard book to lean on. "I'll be down-"

"Stay." I whisper, grabbing her hand. She silently climbs on the bed behind me and rubs my back as I take a deep breath, beginning to write.

Dear Mom,
I don't understand why you're trying so hard to find me recently when you're the one who chose to leave my life almost 6 months ago. I don't understand why you seemingly enjoy playing my life like it is a game...

Alice and I are happy, extremely happy; we're married. We're planning on maybe fostering or adopting, maybe moving abroad or something for a fresh start. It's hard for us to be here, be anywhere around here, after everything.

Before you worry, my health is fine. Better than fine. I'm 126 pounds as always, I'm almost clear with my therapist and I got my diploma. We're planning on celebrating in Paris as a well done slash happy 21st birthday.

I don't know if I want to see you, because it'll set me back. I'm finally on track with my life and it'll be like taking 2 steps back. Please, respect my life for once. Tell Regina and Emerald I love them, that I miss them. I miss dad, I miss you, but I don't know if I have room in my life for pain like that again...

I'm sorry.

Love B.x