Pictures And Some Memories

Three: A Blow to the Gut.

I am silent as Violet reverses out of her garage, trying to process the scene I'd just witnessed. Violet whisper yelling to Zack. Zack holding a child that looked an awful lot like him. His gaze, shocked when he saw me and hurt when I left yet again. So many feelings ran through my mind all at the same time, and not one of them made any sense to me.

"Andi? C'mon, don't go catatonic on me," Violet pleaded when we pulled up to a stoplight. "Andi, are you okay?"

I shrug in response, keeping my eyes on the view in front of me, which consisted of the pink sky slowly fading into purple, then black as the night crept up on us. "At least talk to me, please?"

"What is there to say?" I finally sigh in response. "I just.... he has a baby?!"

"Yep," she says softly. "His name is Nicholas and he'll be two in November."

I raise my eyebrows. "No kidding?" She shakes her head. "That's just... I never expected that."

"Things tend to change when you're away for long periods of time," she says as she turns onto the highway.

"No kidding," I repeat with a sigh. I finally let out the real question I'd been wondering since I put two and two together. "So, he's moved on, right? He's happy now?"

She glances over at me before quickly averting her eyes back to the empty highway before us. "You could say that."

I raise an eyebrow. "What's that supposed to mean? He's obviously got a girlfriend or significant other since he has a kid. I mean, how else would he..."

It clicked into my head then that I was probably way off base, and by the look on Violet's face, I definitely was. "You're telling me this isn't what I think it is?"

"It'd be a hell of a lot better ending for Zack, sure," she says. "But, no. No girlfriend, no wife, nothing. Last I checked, anyways."

My eyes widen. "Violet, did he--"

"It wasn't a random girl, no," she cuts me off before I can even ask. I narrow my eyes at her. She's still so razor sharp about things like that, it still scared me. "I don't even know if you'll want to hear about him, anyways. You did avoid him for six years--"

I flick her hand away from the radio nob she started to fiddle with and turn the music off. "You're fidgeting, Vi. But, maybe you're right. It's not any of my business."

We were both silent for a few moments, curiosity eating me alive. He didn't knock up some random groupie, which, for some reason, relieved me. I couldn't put my finger on why, though, but I pushed it down, away for now and for good. It didn't matter.

She chewed her lip for a few moments as she drove, most likely trying to find a way to tell me something without betraying him in the process. That alone made me feel guilty; she was still feeling the repercussions of being friends with the both of us and it had been going on for far too long. "Don't feel like you have to tell me anything, Vi. So, he's got a kid now. Good for him..." I told her, although it all sounded phony, even to me. My voice betrayed me yet again and I cursed its natural rasp for the millionth time. "I'm glad he's moved on."

We stopped at another light, carefully studying my features as we sat. Her deep brown eyes burned with intensity, the same way they did when she couldn't contain her excitement when she'd scored tickets to a show, or when she had something to say but couldn't spit or out. She chewed her lip some more as she finally looked away, sighing. "Yeah, he's moved on. I mean, he loves Nicholas--"

"He named him Nicholas?" I wondered aloud, on accident.

"Yeah, I just said that. Twice," she said in her trademark 'are you serious?' tone. She still sounded off, but at this point, we were both feeling pretty awkward about the whole situation, so I let it go.