Son of Wolverine (X-Men/Wolverine FanFic)

Snap

Everything was out of focus around me, merely blur as I made my way through the mansion to get somewhere safe, somewhere away from the others. 

I couldn't think straight, I couldn't think of anywhere to go and I was panicking now, my chest constricting painfully as I felt the air leave my lungs, my mind on full alert and yet still so unfocused on the world around me. It was disorienting. I knew this feeling, I knew it well and I knew what it felt like when it started to spiral out of my control. 

I couldn't breathe, everything felt too much and my head was pounding and I just kept thinking about it over and over again

The bastard, they were just kids! He tortured, hurt them, they didn't deserve, they were so young, so fucking young and he took their lives away from them. They didn't deserve it, didn't deserve it, they were just kids.

I stumbled and gripped my head, everything was too loud, it was too damn loud! I covered my ears, my back hitting a wall as I tried to breathe but it wasn't working. My chest hurt, my knuckles ached. 

I was in the open, there were too many people. I pushed off and begin to run again but I was stopped. I turned, seeing someone holding my arm but I didn't have time to register who it was. I pushed, feeling the hand slip away and I turned again, feeling a growl slip past my lips without even thinking about it.

I run, the corridors were empty but they still felt too tight, too closed in yet too open at the same time. I found a room, it was empty, I could lock it. They wouldn't find me in there, it would be safe, they would be safe. 

I heard my name, there was yelling. Logan.  I growled again and gripped my head, trying to fight it all off while I still had what little control I could keep of myself. I opened the door, stumbling inside as I pushed it back into place and fumbled with the lock. My hands were shaking, they burned so much with the need for release. I hit the door, finally slipping the lock into the place just as it shook from the other side.

I stumbled back, hitting one of the tables inside the room. My claws slid out and I growled again, shutting my eyes against the racing thoughts in my head, gripping on to the table to ground myself.

The air felt too thin. I was tense. I needed to hit something, someone; anything! I pounded my fist against the tabletop, yelling into the empty room as I shook my head. My whole body ached with the urge to kill, to rip something to shreds and I hated it, I hated it so much but it felt so damn good. 

"Jason!" There was pounding on the door, Logan, my dad, he was yelling. I gripped the desk harder, feeling it splitter against my skin. "Jason, let us in! Now!" The words felt distant but they were there, I heard them. 

"No!" I screamed back, my throat protesting against the strain and I almost didn't recognise the panicked screech of my own voice. "Go away!" I yelled, the words leaving before I even had a chance to fully realise my mouth was open. I growled, feeling an angry hot surge through my veins. 

"Jason, come on! We're getting in there one way or another!" The door was shaking, I could hear the hinges rattling against the frame from the force of it. 

I screamed, my muscles seizing as I felt myself lose control. No, no, no, no, no. This couldn't happen, not here. I didn't answer but the yelling wouldn't stop. I squeezed my eyes shut tighter as if it would somehow block it all out but it didn't, why was it so damn loud?!

The door burst open and I looked up, seeing Logan freeze in the doorway with Jean behind him. 

I wasn't in control anymore, this wasn't me. It was like I had been put in the backseat of my own subconscious, watching but having no control over what was going on.