zentropy | mileven.

²⁾ wasting time

[JANE POV.]

❝ my baby don't laugh, all she do is cry, when she gets home, all she wants to do is die ! ❞

━ CHAPTER TWO.

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"OF COURSE I don't feel that way anymore."

he gave me a nod of reassurance and I watched as his expression transformed from anxious to relieved. it hurt to see him so happy that my past feelings were gone. though, I suppose just from that pain alone it was evident that they hadn't gone anywhere.

"well I miss you," he said hesitantly. we had never really been all too serious or sentimental towards one another in the past, and it wouldn't make sense to start now.
"yeah, so do I."
at least I had said one true thing throughout the conversation so far.
I couldn't lie, it made me happy to hear him say that he misses me. I couldn't help but milk it a little bit more.
"what do you miss about me?"
he shot me a look that made me smirk, as his eyes seemed to blare you caught me off guard. I raised my eyebrows in amusement as he trailed off into an "uhhh..."

"well you were funny. and you always made me laugh when we were together,"
"oh, I'm hilarious, aren't I?"
"totally," he said sarcastically as a smile crept up on his face. you have no idea how much I missed seeing that smile.
"and.." he went on, as I raised my brows once more in suspense.
"and? and what?"
"be patient," he laughed, which caused my stomach to do flips.

"and I guess you were just always fun to be around. and I just...miss you."

I looked at him like he was the first glimmer of light that I'd seen in months of shut doors and closed windows. he was everything to me. and all I wanted was to be with him.

***

it was in the eighth grade where I'd met max mayfield. she had just moved to hawkins from california, and she was cool. really cool.

she carried a skateboard down the hallways and didn't give two shits if someone called her a 'poser' or a 'freak'. she'd just laugh and flip them off, her freckles dancing around on her cheeks and her fiery red hair bouncing around her as she rode away on that skateboard.

it was only a matter of time before we became friends.

and only a matter of time before she came into the friend group, and instantly caught the attention of my best friend.

who could blame her, she was beautiful. she was everything I wanted to be and more.

it's hard to understand, but I think I always felt that way for mike. from the minute I met him. I think it just took me a while to realize it.

it was towards the end of seventh grade that the idea of mike being more than just a best friend to me crept into the corners of my mind, and once max arrived, the jealousy that had once slept soundly in my brain had awoken, and moved all of those bottled up feelings for mike into the middle- the very center of my thoughts.

but I could never let him know that.

my friendship with him was everything to me. it was the sole reason for going to school, for having the motivation to get out of bed, for doing anything, really. I wasn't going to sabotage that over some silly feelings that would probably pass in a month or two.