The Lyric Project (Completed)

Five

~ Chapter Five ~

Ed wasn't sure how to go about telling people of his 'adventure', he knew that some people would protest, claiming he should stay. They all thought he should already be over Samantha, that after a few days, the mourning ends. Just like that. Because for everyone else, they had already started to forget. Not who she was, what she did, or anything of that sort… But they were forgetting how much she meant. Days would pass and eventually the name Samantha would no longer bring the bright memory of a girl with strawberry blonde hair telling a joke to a group of people. It'd simply be a name.

That's what they didn't understand. That's what frustrated Ed. He wanted to scream out, tell them they just couldn't forget about Sam, that it just wasn't possible. They should all be just as torn up about it - they shouldn't be able to move on. 

Maybe it's what she wanted, but there was no way she would have wanted to drift away with the wind - she must have wanted people to remember her. 

Ed kept up a steady beat with the toe of his sneaker against the carpeted ground of his living room, the couch having gotten used quite a lot in the last few days due to his grieving. His fingers ghosted over the number that was prominent across the screen of his phone, debating on whether or not it would be a mistake.

Alexi had listened to him rant, his problems getting the best of him that night. She had been a shoulder to cry on - figuratively speaking of course, Ed had managed to control his emotions in public. She listened to his crazy idea, nodding her head and inputing suggestions as if it was every single day that she encountered a celebrity who wanted the world to remember his fiancé. 

Then she had offered something that he had needed to think about, because it wasn't a simple offer at all. In the end, it would help her. She had, already giving off the impression that she was an honest woman, admitted that it would help her career. Then she pointed out how it'd also help him achieve his goal. 

By that time, it had gotten to be past midnight, and the two had been hunched over the counter at Shakeys for a good three hours. "Think about it." She had said as she slowly got up from the stool, stretching her muscles in short movements. "Don't make a rash decision and then regret it later, okay? Call me. It doesn't have to be about what I've said. Call me if you need to talk again, alright?"

And Ed listened to her advice. He thought about it. Not just for a few minutes, not for an hour, oh no, Ed thought about it for two whole days. He hadn't been able to not think about it; no matter what he did, it plagued his mind like flies around a fruit stand.

Something clicked inside his brain, like a snap of the fingers. He had to do it.

He pushed dial, bringing the speaker up to his mouth. Her hello rang out, short yet kind, and Ed breathed in quickly. "Alexi? I made up my mind. I want you to do it. The only way it'll make the impact I want it to, is with your help."

~

"What was it that you needed to talk to me so badly?" Harry fussed as he collapsed onto Ed's yellow couch.

"I have an idea." Ed replied, stopping there and giving no indication of continuing.

Harry sighed. "Are you going to tell me or are you going to stare at me like I'm double headed?"

"I dunno, it's pretty fun to stare at you." Ed cracked a smile, one of the first times he let himself exude joy at all in the past few days. 

Harry looked taken aback for a second before grinning back. "I'm going to leave if you don't tell me what's going on."

Seconds ticked by.

"I… I need to say goodbye to Samantha." Ed spoke, every trace of a smile gone. His eyes suddenly became downcast, his fingers twiddling together. 

Harry waited for Ed to continue.

"You know how Samantha had her favorite spots? The park by the tree, the bench at the lake, where I proposed, her favorite beach in California, that little bar in LA…" Ed trailed off, his mind reeling with all the thoughts of the places they have gone together.

"And?" Harry prompted. 

"I want to go visit them. I want to leave the lyrics to some of her favorite songs in those places. I made a list, and I'm going to go there. Where we met, where we had our first kiss…" Ed smiled faintly at the thought. "I'm going to leave something behind, something that will help people remember who she was. With the help of a newfound friend… We'll make it so she will never be forgotten. Once I know that there's something to remind me of her, maybe I'll be able to do what she wants me to do: move on."

"How long is it going to take you?" Harry asked after a second's worth of silence.

"A month. Maybe two. Maybe more. I want to spend it with her. I can't just go on with life without knowing that there's something out there… Something that shows how much Samantha meant to me; that it took a lot to continue with my every day life." Ed brought his hand up to run it through his messy hair.

"What are you going to do about work?" Harry inquired.

"Aren't you full of questions?" Ed rolled his eyes. "I'm taking time off. I'll write a few songs while on the break so the label doesn't injure me."

"It's a great idea, mate. I really think it could help you a lot… But don't dig yourself into a deeper hole. After seeing all those spots, having all those flashbacks, would that really be good for you? Aren't you afraid it's going to make it harder to let go?" Harry's voice was low and soft, as if worried a wrong word could make Ed's world explode.

"I can't let go of her unless I do this. She was my life, Harry. I had so many plans for our future; I never even considered a life without her. To have her stripped away from me so quickly? There's no way I'm not giving her a proper goodbye. I need to tell her all the things I never said - emotions I couldn't put into words. This is the only way I can think of that could even be slightly worthy of such a wonderful person. I'm going to remember the moments I had with her and I know it's not going to be easy. I have to do this, though." 

Once Ed finished his little speech, Harry knew that it would be absolutely useless to argue. So instead of attempting time wasting conversation, he stood up. "Good. I'm glad. You needed a new hobby anyways."

"Trying to lighten the mood?" Ed chuckled. "And that's rubbish, I have plenty of hobbies."

"Don't forget I'm going on tour for eight months next month. Your life is going to become extremely boring without me." Harry said with confidence as he started towards the door. Ed followed his lead. 

"I probably won't even notice," Ed shoved Harry out the door. 

"Call me later so we can get drinks!" The curly haired kid called out behind him as he strutted to his black Range Rover.

And for the first time in a week, Ed didn't collapse into a depressed state after his friend was out of sight.

Sorry! Didn't have time to update yesterday because of work. Don't forget to comment your favorite part of this story and what you would like to see in the future! 

©MyHeartsMistake

My social networks:

IG/Twitter: MyHeartsMistake

Tumblr: katie-talks-a-lot.tumblr.com