Beloved

19.

'Maybe right now is not the right time for it' I said hesitantly. I had taken off the engagement ring, but my name was in some way tied with Zaid. I couldn't get myself to tell Hamza about my feeling right now before ending things completely with Zaid.

'Every time is a right time when we are together' He slightly smiled.

'I'll faint if you continue to stare at me like that' I pulled back from him and his hands fell.

'Not a bad idea, you'll get to stay here with me' He laughed.

'You are...' I began.

'Very handsome, I know' He smirked, and I touched his forehead.

'You sure you're okay? You are being extremely over smart right now' I pointed out and his smile grew. There was a slight knock on the door before Saba walked in.

'Are you coming? Karim said we'll be leaving soon.' Saba came in to get me.

'Yeah...I should go pack' I got up to leave but Hamza grabbed my hand.

'She'll be there in two minutes' He said to Saba and she shyly nodded and exited the room.

'What are you doing?' I yelped when he pulled me back down to sit with him.

'Before you leave, can I ask you for a favour?' He asked me and I nodded.

'Try not to overthink' He looked at me with concern.

'What?' I was confused.

'Don't carry too many thoughts in your head' He said to me.

'Why are you saying this to me?' I sighed, was I so easy to read?

'Because I know you...I know that as soon as you get on that car to go back home you'll start thinking about everything...about me, about your family, your career, your commitments, your duties...everything.' He was right, I wasn't on my way back and all these things were starting to find their way back into my head.

'You didn't tell me you read minds?' I teased him.

'I don't but I wish I could read yours because I know no matter how much I try I can never figure out what you're actually thinking unless I am looking right into your eyes. You want to do everything by your self, you don't want anyone to share your burden, but I want to do that...I want to share all of that. Anything that concerns you, I want to know about that...anything that matters to you, matters to me now' I held my breath when he said that. I opened my mouth to say something but then closed it shut. No one has said anything like this to me in my life. Just when I thought I couldn't love him more, he proved me wrong. Who was this man and what was he doing to me?

'I think I should go pack my stuff' I said instead, I had to keep it together. He let go of my hand and I immediately got up to leave. Just when I reached the door to exit, I couldn't help but look at him, taking in his face, especially his eyes and the love that was in them for me, that made him so beautiful both in and out. We looked at each other for a minute, not saying anything, just taking in whatever was happening between us. It was both heartfelt and heartbreaking.

'We'll come to see you before we head off' My eye teared up but thankfully my voice didn't tremble. He didn't say anything, just nodded in my direction. As soon as I head out and shut the door behind me, I cried. I cried and let it all out, all the fear, all the doubt, all the nightmares that kept me worried for the few days. Today, crying worked like a healer, it left me feeling relieved once it ended. I closed my eyes and took some deep breaths before wiping my face and going to my room to pack. After having our late breakfast and packing our stuff, we all went to see Hamza, but he was deeply asleep. Karim Sir told me that his medicines caused drowsiness, helped to relieve pain so I left him a note, telling him that I wished him a quick recovery and looked forward to seeing him soon.

An hour or so on the way home, Karim Sir got a call from Hamza. After speaking to him for several minutes, he passed me the phone.

'Hello,' I answered.

'Sorry I fell asleep...I wanted to see you' He said.

'It's fine...you need to rest anyway' I replied.

'I hope you remember the favor I asked you' He mentioned.

'I remember' I couldn't stop myself from smiling.

'Good' He still sounded sleepy.

'You sound sleepy' I said.

'It's the medicine' He told me.

'Sleep then' I advised him.

'Then I will have to end the call' He replied.

'That's how it usually works' I chuckled.

'But I like listening to you' He said, and I flushed.

'We'll talk later' I said to him.

'Later...I hate this word when it comes to us' He protested.

'How about continue?' I whispered. Thankfully Saba was already asleep next to me and Karim sir was listening to the radio, but I still didn't want to make it awkward.

'Okay,' He agreed with the suggestion.

'Okay...' I followed.

'Try not to miss me too much' I could sense him smiling on the other side.

'You too' I repeated.

'You're asking for the impossible Ayat, I start missing you the minute you leave my sight' I went quiet after that. Is he always going to do this? Say things that will leave me speechless?

'Bye Hamza' I managed to say.

'I miss you too' He replied and ended the call. 

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Happy mid-week Y'all!

How is everyone doing today? It's December baby? Who will be binge-watching harry potter movies?  Me. 

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