Entry 2- Nov 21, 2018

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Entry 2- Nov 21, 2018

Dear friend,

it's midnight and I'm supposed to be tucked away into dreamland. I just can't get myself to sleep. I'm unable to get my brain to shut down. I need the alcohol. I forgot to write that down in my first entry. I'm also addicted to alcohol at the ripe age of 17. Ruth Ann told me I should drink something else to substitute it, but that's like eating a gluten free chicken nugget. It's still not a nugget. Even if I drink soda or tea, it's not giving me the delicious taste alcohol does. I want to drink until I'm unable to think for myself. I want to slug myself off to bed and drink until I black out.

Maybe it's not the best comparison, but the point is, I can't just quit drinking it. I only get a shot of beer before bed or "as needed." Even when I ask the med tech for a delicious shot, they tell me I can't have anymore. That its part of my treatment.

Maybe I can talk Kenny into bringing me something. Or someone. Kyle would kill me I'm sure. He knows that I'm here. Knows that I'm suffering with this alcoholism, depression, and anxiety ridden body! I just want to go home. And by home, I mean not this planet. Somewhere I don't have to hurt anymore.

Shit. I need to go. I hear the certified nurses aid down the hall. I'm sure it's Lyle. He's a cool dude. So far that is.

Hopefully one of my friends show up. Maybe I'm not worth anyone's time. Maybe my friends already replaced me. Kyle did a few years ago. He told me that me thinking that everything was shit wasn't something he liked. That he would rather hangout with Cartman and forget about me. Maybe Kyle's already replacing me with another best friend.

With love,

Stanley Marsh

Notes:

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