Every Thought Of You

Every Thought Of You 6

Chapter 6

After Jack had left the house, I was

alone. Charley had popped in for a little while when she was on her way to the store.

I told her about mine and Jacks break up and of course she had freaked out.

"Why did you let him go!? Charley looked stunned, her crystal blue eyes were practically jumping out of their sockets."He would have helped you through this, he could have fixed you again, made you happy, you know he really liked-"

I cut Charley off there, the guilt began to slowly eat away at me.

"Stop there Charl, that's not the point."

I looked up at her face from my fiddling fingers. I hated the fact she was taller than me, when she was mad at me her height would always make it more intimidating.

"What's not the point Mais?" She sighed, putting her hands on her hips and cocking her head to the side.

She lowered her voice into a more normal tone, realising she was making me flinch as she spoke. I stared into her wide eyes trying to piece the words I wanted to say together.

I heaved a heavy sigh while rubbing the back of my hand over my forehead, trying to ease the slight head ache that was creeping up on me.

"I wasn't happy. We didn't share a close relationship, we weren't intimate with each other. I liked him yes, but it wasn't anything more than that. I couldn't see us together for much longer." I spoke quietly, little energy left in my body.

I brought my fingers up to my mouth and started biting on my thumb nail waiting for Charley's reaction.

She transferred her gaze down to her feet as though she was avoiding talking. So I continued.

"If I hadn't ended things with Jack today, he would have only ended things between us sooner or later. I would have pushed him away, and eventually he would have had enough of it. I was saving him time."

I paused for air as I dropped my hand back down to my side letting my fingers play with the hem of my jumper.

"I don't want to have someone to tie me down at this time in my life. With everything that has happened, I don't think I could cope with the upset and being in a relationship at the same time. I want to spend time with the only family I have left, you and Cole."

Charley moved forward and wrapped her arms around my shoulders, pulling me into a hug so tight I was gasping for air within seconds.

I rested my head on her shoulders and moved my arms around her back hugging her lightly while trying to pull away a little.

"I'm so sorry Mais, I had no idea. I just thought having Jack around would be a help, I thought maybe he could help you be happy again.

Charley looked into my eyes with a weak smile, not quite a happy smile, more of a sad smile.

"But it's your decision and I'm sorry for snapping, I just thought you were being rational with all that's been going on lately."

What Charley had said was true, I was being rational. My mind was muddled up and I was grieving but I needed to do this, I needed to end things with Jack for his sake.

"No no, you had every right to snap, maybe I was being rational but it feels right."

Charley let out a sigh and grabbed onto my hand while pulling me back through the house to the door.

"Come on, you're coming to the stores with me. You need to get out again. Staying in isn't going to do you any good. And before you do, don't say you don't want to go because you need to, I've been in that fridge," she said while pointing over to the kitchen, "and there's not one thing in there. You'll starve. Now come on."