Stellaride - Burning Fire (A Chicago Fire Fan Fiction)

Chapter 4

Kelly's P.O.V

Its been almost an entire month , and I Can't seen to get her off my mind. Is this what it feels like to have feelings for someone? I mean yeah I do know how it feels to like someone, and be in a relationship , but I've never felt like this about anyone else before. And that terrifies me because I'm not good at anything that had to do with love or romance. My love life has been complete chaos , and I don't want to be just like Benny and take her for granted. I think it's better if I just forget about her. It's what best for both of us. Especially since she's married, that's how I know that this won't work out. She's married. I have to constantly remind myself that in order for me to stop thinking about her. If this is is what love is , I'm scarred to even think about it. I wonder how Casey is so good at being in love with Dawson. They're love looks so pure and innocent. Will I ever feel that in life?

By the time I reached the firehouse my thoughts have been cleared , and I was ready to get to work and forget all about these feelings. As soon as I walk I to the firehouse Connie lets me know that Chief has called me.

"Severide , it's been called to my attention that you spent  more time at the academy then the firehouse this last moth on my reports, I need an explanation , things like this can affect you in unexpected ways."

"Uhh, yeah Chief I'm sorry about that I was helping out Chief Walker with arson investigation classes , and he also asked me to do a couple of training courses with the candidates, im sorry Chief, I though I put it on all the paper work"

"You only put down the Arson Investing class , not the rest." He takes a deep breath then starts speaking again. "Severide you've been really distracted lately, whatever it is , you have to put it aside whenever you enter this firehouse , whenever we get a call , and especially when you run into that burning building, I don't know what your going through , but as your chief I'm asking you to fix it , not for me , not for you , but for the people in this city who need the gutsiest Rescue Squad Firefighter In all of Chicago"

All of the sudden I realize that Boden is right , I have been distracted Lately. The people of Chicago rely on me , and it's my responsibility to make sure I give them my 100% dedication
"Thank you Chief , I know you have all the reason the be worried about me , but I'm good. I'm doing perfectly fine, It won't happen again Chief. I assure you that in any way possible" I said letting Chief know , and also myself that at the firehouse , everything gets put aside.

Stella's P.O.V

One month , wow has is really been that long? I've been thinking about Kelly so much, that it feels like I saw him just yesterday. That feels like both a blessing and a curse because I'm reminded by him everyday and his smile , and it warms my heart , but then again it's also a curse because then I'm reminded that it's been a month ago that I saw his smile , when it feels like yesterday and it makes me miss him so much. The odds of us seeing each other is high , Chicago is a big city , and I'll I'm left with is hope , and regrets.

Grant finally decided to sign the divorce papers. My toxic marriage will soon come to an end. Even though he still threatens to never leave my side , knowing that we're both divorced makes me feel better now. Knowing that I feel free. Something that kelly awoke in me. That night when he came I to my house with roses and Six Pack of beer. I realized that It's my life , and grant is holding me back. 1 week , in 1 week I will finally be divorced.

I know I'm supposed to be happy and thrilled , but all I'm left is what might've been. What might've been my marriage if grant never was an alcoholic or drug addict. What might've been if he never interrupted the Kiss that I was about to share with Kelly.

I'm clouded with all these thoughts. But all I gotta do is focus on my job. The thing I care most about. Saving people's lives in the Windy City of Chicago. It's my first day as a candidate. It's my day to prove to myself , and to everyone that I got what it takes to be a badass firefighter.