CLANDESTINE

trente - deux

32
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if we were meant to be
we would have been right now
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mark was good at almost everything.

that's a fact that most people knew.

mark can do what most people can't - except for cooking, dealing with gadgets, machinery etc. - but most of the time, he can do anything.

mark can rap powerfully while dancing, mark can get through a day or two without sleeping, mark can go from one country to another in just a few hours, mark can handle countless schedule, mark can go from any units in one time, mark can work until the next morning non stop, mark can adapt to different situations quickly and more, the thing is, mark can just do everything.

mark was loved by almost everyone, he was lovely, caring, selfless. most of all, he was respectful. the elders likes him for that. mark was also hardworking, he never complain, he practice on his free time, he write lyrics to spend his day, mark was overall an amazing person.

one thing that mark was really good at, which he himself acknowledged, is he's good at hiding his feeling.

mark rarely shows what he really feel.

mark had a persona of a good person, a nice and sweet boy that everyone loves off stage, an image of a great person, a professional on stage.

it didn't take a lot for him to hide his feeling for he believes that the others don't need to know what he feel. even if he's dead tired, mark would never say anything. he would rather keep it in himself than burdening others by telling them about it. he don't like the idea of his emotional state being with the others. he don't want them to pity him, he's too much of a prideful person to be look at pitifully.

donghyuck was an exception.

ever since the first time both of them met, he knew donghyuck was a wonder to his world.

it was so easy to be bare and open with donghyuck.

a thirteen years old few years ago, donghyuck was an introvert. his first few weeks of training were filled with himself only, he would sat alone, practice at the corner, get to home by himself. mark had found the boy quite familiar that time which led him being the first one to talk to donghyuck. the fourteen years old mark didn't know what to expect from donghyuck actually, he didn't know donghyuck's real personality. he only knew that the boy was good at singing and had a stable vocal for a kid and mark admires donghyuck for that.

one talk led to another and only then mark found out how wonderful of a person donghyuck is.

he can be a little annoying at times, he would pissed mark to make sure he didn't walk alone, drag mark to everywhere he wanted to and get mark to accompany him when he eat. at first, mark wasn't really into doing things like that - adds up with donghyuck treating him like a friend when they are one year apart - but still, it works out for them.

donghyuck had been there in every parts of mark's life, dare he to say.

donghyuck would be by his side most of the time, staying with him as they grown up together as the adults they are now.

now that they are no more kids, no more hiding inside the room at the end of hallway, no more being under the rain as they ran to reach their dorm, no more hanging out with the other trainees.

they had priorities, a job, fans, the whole south korea watching them.

as much as mark wanted to cling onto his childhood that was full of memories with the younger boy, he needs to look ahead.

mark would be twenty next year, he would be a real adult soon. donghyuck too would join him soon.

their childhood was beautiful, with both mark and donghyuck having their own little world. they had their own movie, their own book, their own theater, them as the main characters and their life as the plot.

yet mark dared to end the movie, burn down the book, ruin the stage by himself.

what's supposed to be the two of them suddenly became a lone fight.

now staring longingly at the wide, blue sky outside his window, a contrast to his dark, silent room, mark heard donghyuck's laughter ringing loudly from outside of his room.

the members were having fun but mark can't found it in himself to join them. he was still under the control of guilt, the sick feeling in his chest was still nestling inside, the hatred toward himself growing.

mark was violent, he don't belong with kindhearted people like the others, an angel like donghyuck.

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nct channel just dropped the markhyuck's billionaire live and guess who's crying right now : )

- tantan