After the Football Game ✓

Previously: After turning down Tin's proposal of being together, Can did not understand his frustration and the hurt he felt. It was as if something has suddenly gone missing from his life.   Unable to process his own feelings, he tried to look for Tin after several attempts of contacting him through the LINE app and phone calls, still, there was nothing. It was as if, Tin never existed at all. Frustrated, Can went to Tin's department building but could still not find the other boy. With all the frustrations and conflicting emotions happening within him, he still had football practice and with a major game coming on, he and his team had to work hard to ensure a very important win. Can, feeling confident despite his inner struggles bragged to his family that their team was the best in the world.  Alas, during that most important game, P'Type, one of their strongest player had an injury, prompting the coach to call on Can as a substitute player only moments before the end of the losing game. Their team lost the match, saying he had to wash his face, Can excused himself from his teammates to go to the locker rooms.

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                        (A retelling from the original novel by MAME)

                                      "After the Football Game"

Can's shoulders lightly shook as he walked towards the lockers. He did not dare look back at his team who, moments before, he told that he had to wash his face; back when he still had a big smile plastered on his face.

But the smile was gone now. Behind him, he can hear his teammates talk about their losing the game; hearing his name a few times but never really minding what was being said.

He caught his breath as he slowly forced each step towards the security of the locker room. He was tired, not only from the physical toll of the game that just ended but from the defeat and the hard realization that he was the reason behind that defeat.

A slow trickle of a tear streaked across his face still red with the exertion of the football match. And they did not stop. That single drop became the key to open the floodgates of emotions that he has been trying to keep while jokingly making light banter with everyone else.

Everything was suddenly blurry with the tears that would not stop. Looking at the ground, all he could do was try to hasten his footsteps towards the sweet security and isolation of the locker room where he meant to sulk. His shoulders while sagged were now uncontrollably shaking with the sobs that he was trying to contain. He did not dare cry while still a few feet from a safe haven, he willed himself not to drop to his feet and cry like a child, wallowing in his own self-pity. He also did not dare run faster to the lockers fearful that everyone else will know what he was really about. So he took slow painful steps. Forcing his legs, too tired from the game, to take one more step forward. He did not want anyone to else to see his pain, he did not want anyone else to see him cry planning to plaster a smile back on his face after pouring his heart out on the deaf and mute tiles of the locker room.

"Can!" he distinctly heard his name being called by an all too familiar voice.

He stopped dead on his tracks.

"Can?" came the voice again. His heartbeat was suddenly a staccato of drumbeats hammering inside his chest and his legs could not step any further.

Tin's voice was a surprise. He did not expect that Tin was there watching him make a fool of himself and cause the team to lose.

Can dropped his head, hearing Tin's voice did not help at all. All he wanted now was to drop down on the ground and sob. Without meaning to, the deluge behind his eyes could no longer be contained. He cried and cried, his shoulders heaving with each painful cry.