Been Here All Along

17| again

I just flashed him an innocent smile. Ian groaned, but I could tell by his expression he wasn't actually annoyed. Besides, he may have been gone for 4 years, but he had to have known I would still be the ridiculous over-packer I was when were 18.

Kaila hopped off the suitcase onto the floor with her phone pressed to her ear. As she was passing by, she pulled both Ian and I in for a hug, mouthed a bye and disappeared to her room.

Must be the boy on the phone...

"Okay, ready?" Ian asked when we made eye contact.

I don't know why, but this time, looking at Ian felt different. I didn't just see Ian Miller, the 22 year old guy I once loved that just returned from war, I saw my whole future. Everything I ever imagined for my future, Ian was there too.

I am making the right decision.

"I'm ready to go anywhere with you," I told him softly. Realistically, I didn't plan to actually utter those words, but Ian's bright smile made it impossible for me to regret it.

Without me even having to ask, he grabbed my suitcase off my bed for me and carried it out to his car.

~•~

   I think it practically goes without saying that I'm nervous to reconnect with Ian's family. I wouldn't say we've been out of touch in his years away, but we didn't necessarily stay in touch either. When they moved, I kept a relative distance from contacting them to make it easier for me to move on from Ian. Hayden swore to me his family understood my reasoning, so we all stuck to staying updated through Facebook and such.

   Now, we will be meeting again.

   I'm more nervous to see them now than I was when I met them for the first time in 7th grade, even though we were strictly friends back then.

   These thoughts were all that were rattling through my mind the whole time Ian was asleep, which was about the first hour of the flight.

   I think therapy and scheduling for school is really taking its toll on him; he's always so tired.

   "Morning, Josie Elle," Ian's raspy just-woke-up voice spoke up as he lifted his head off my shoulder. Yes, he fell asleep on my shoulder and it took everything in me to not scream that I'm in love with him right then and there.

   Such a small, hardly intimate action had sent me wild.

   "It's almost 2 in the afternoon," I reminded him with a small smile.

   "Same difference," he winked at me. "Whats on your mind?"

   I guess Ian still can read me like an open book. He knows my mind is spiraling with thoughts I don't have any control over.

   "I'm excited to see your family." It wasn't an entire lie. I love Ian's family so much and distancing myself was hard to do, but part of me was scared they wouldn't understand why I distanced myself or that they won't like who I've become.

   Ian put his hand on my leg, not even seeming to think anything of it, "Hey, I know you're nervous. I can see right through you, but you don't need to be. They are still going to love you."

   Just like I love you.

   But of course I bit my tongue and didn't spit that out. Besides, I still haven't found the right time to tell Ian that Joel and I are broken up.

   "Remember the first time you rode on a plane?" Ian smirked.

   Ah, yes. The 9th grade CTE trip to New York. I wish I could say "good times" and mean it.

   My parents didn't realize that depriving me of an airplane flight the first 15 years of my life could have the impact it did.

   "How could I forget?" I was reminded of it pretty much everyday for at least four months post.

   For starters, Ian had to hold my hand through the entire take off because I was on the verge of passing out. Then, I swore to myself I wouldn't use the claustrophobic bathroom, but proceeded to drink at least 3 water bottles. I had no choice but to go, hesitantly. While in the bathroom, the plane decided to experience turbulence and I fell in a 4 foot by 4 foot sized bathroom. I was lucky enough to not fall in the toilet, honestly. One of the parent chaperones that was a nurse was pretty sure I got a concussion, but I ignored it. To cap off the worst plane experience ever, a flight attendant that was strolling by spilled coffee on me.

   I was miserable.

   It goes without saying that, on the way back, I took the middle seat in a row of three to avoid seeing out the window and getting coffee spilled on me, consumed no water, and stayed glued to my seat.

   "Do you have to use the bathroom?" He joked, nudging me playfully.

   Never again.

   "Shut up, Miller," I laughed.

   For the duration of the flight, we reminisced and joked around like we used to do back in high school. It felt nice being normal with Ian. I missed my best friend, and I'm so grateful that he's back home and he's safe.

   It was when the pilot asked us to put our seatbelts on and prepare for landing and Ian grabbed my hand that I almost lost it.

   Every part of my body ignited at his touch.

   "E, I have something to tell you."

   "What's up?"

   "Joel and I broke up before he left for Michigan."

•••

Sorry I didn't get around to updating last week, the chapter just wasn't ready. I've been fighting through some slight writer's block, but I think it'll turn around soon. However, I think I'm going to take next week off and my next update will be the 28th (my 18th birthday!!!!) just so I have more time to write more and of better quality.

I bet you're all wondering what's going to happen now that Ian knows Josie is single, I know I am ;)

Thanks for reading!

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- Emily