Star Struck [*Complete*]

Chapter Fourteen

We really do need to talk. I could practically hear the words whispered in Noah's all too serious tone as I got dressed. With the potential negative conversation hanging over my head I didn't dress up, I couldn't bring myself to do my hair or makeup. I wrangled my hair into a sloppy side ponytail and put on my old pink and black chucks, worn old skinny jeans and an old band t-shirt. After snagging my camera and messenger bag, I was out the door in record time.

Classes were a breeze and noon came around all too quickly, as I walked toward the student union my mind raced. My gallery was Thursday, so I knew I needed to spend that night on campus setting everything up. I couldn't spend time with Noah even if I wanted to and as it stood, I wasn't sure I did. At the same time, I didn't want him to take himself out of my life. May Seventeenth was entirely too close for my liking, and a small part of me wanted to just ignore what happened and push on, but realistically I knew it was going to come up again. And I couldn't really blame him if he didn't want to do anything with me after my little freakout. At the same time, he was my boyfriend, as bizarre as it still sounded to me. Wetting my lips, I pushed into the double doors and stared at the line for coffee that stretched up the stairs.

Fuck, so much for avoiding the text. Drawing a deep breath, I took my phone out and finally responded to Noah.

- Hey, I'm on campus and free until three if you want to meet up for that talk.

- I'm in the coffee shop at the student union.

Oh yeah, this is not going to be a good talk. My stomach did backflips, and I stepped through the intentional break in the massive line and walked into the glass double doors of the shop. The smell of coffee made my mouth water and distracted me momentarily from the impending doom. From two steps in I caught Noah sitting in the back corner by himself. He looked like he hadn't slept in forever. The shakiest breath escaped my lips, and I started toward him. Like me, he dressed down in worn jeans and a t-shirt. However, he wore a grey cardigan over his dark red graphic tee. When he looked up at me, he smiled, which totally caught me off guard. I expected a sorrowful reaction and not... happiness.

He stood and pulled me into a tight hug before letting me go and sitting back down, in front of him was a small paper cup with a tea bag dangling down the side of it..

"Hey, how was your class?" He sipped his tea as I sat down.

"It was class." I shrugged.

"Bailing last night was a dick move." He wet his lips. "But I just didn't know what to do, seeing you... distraught like that and being unable to do anything about it made me feel helpless as fuck, and I just couldn't deal with it." Chucking a bit, he raised his gaze to mine. "That would be the downside to actually caring about someone."

Giggling I leaned my head back. "You scared the shit out of me with that text message."

"Shit, that wasn't my intention."

I sat up straight again. "S'okay."

"Since I'm leaving so soon I know, I won't be the person to help you with that, but...at some point you're going to need to come to terms with that. And it fucking sucks that I won't get to help you with that." His lips twisted to the side, and he shook his head.

"Not to be that girl but... maybe it doesn't have to stop when you leave?"

He shook his head. "Trust me I've thought about this, and last night kind of cements how important it is that we end this when I leave." Leaning forwards he looked me over carefully before speaking again. "Flogging you, hearing your cries and watching you writhe to escape the tails turned me on, immensely." He kept his voice low and his gaze fixated on mine. "That's what I like, Rosaline. Maybe in a year or two, you'll be comfortable enough with yourself to allow yourself to accept that you enjoy it too. But until then..." he shook his head, and I tried to grapple with the fact that he essentially said he cared too much to indulge himself with me. "It would be too difficult for me to deal with that lost look in your eyes and your tears afterward. I'm burdened with being too aware of myself. I'm not going to lie, if I were smarter, I'd probably end it right now. But... I'm a bit on the selfish side." He smiled.