music box | kim namjoon

chapter 1

"Interesting. How are you?"

"Don't you find it frustrating that you're a different person to everyone you know? I don't think anyone knows me."

"I know to ask you how you are twice because the first time, you always lie." He said knowingly, and she could tell even through the phone he had that stupid dimpled smile on his face that made her feel like she was on the high dive.

"You know, I don't know who you are, Kim Namjoon, but the person you are in my head is pretty miraculous, and kind of a snarky-"

"Ahh, Mina, don't curse. You love whoever I am in your head. What are you doing right now?"

She looked around at the other passengers on the subway, who all looked as if they had worked too long of hours at work for years. Dead people living. "I'm on the subway."

"Why? Are you going somewhere?"

"Just kinda felt like riding the subway. I like the beeping sound it makes when it gets to certain stops." She pulled down at the sleeves of her long sweater, covering her pale hands that were aching from the cold.

"It's too late," He told her, always acting like the parent. "Go get some warm noodles and go home."

"Want to meet me at the tracks?" She disregarded what he said, hearing the pleasant beeping sound of the subway and the feeling of it stopping, the doors opening. She stepped out before she got an answer. "If the sky is clear enough, you can see Jupiter."

She heard the slight pause as he pretended to contemplate, like he did every time she asked him to do anything with her. She wasn't sure if he was humoring her, or if he was never sure about her, but either way, he always did what she wanted.

"I'll be there in 15."

The train tracks were cold, just like the air, and her hands, and anything she could feel. It was the tail end of winter, but spring was twiddling it's thumbs and playing hide and seek. Her sweater kept the most of her warm, but the extra fabric at the end of her sleeves had to act as a puddle of warmth for her face that she buried in it. She wondered how it was possible for the seasons to change so fast in a matter of days, like spring was refusing to do, until she felt an even warmer presence beside her.

"It's too cold." He said, his nose and ears already turning red. He had a beanie pulled over his head and a turtle neck under his chin, and he was squinting his eyes from the cold like it was sunny, but the sun had fallen underneath the horizon line plenty of time ago.

"Sound travels further in the cold." She said, getting down and putting her ears against the tracks. Tonight, the tracks seemed still, and for their convenience, they could lie there forever. "Sounds like we won't die tonight."

"If there were a train coming, you know we would see it, right?"

"Where's the fun in that?" She asked with a frown, laying on her back across the tracks and seeing nothing but sky. "Look," She said, pointing at something faint and orange. "Jupiter."

"Where?" He asked, his eyes even more squinted, now from the cold and in determination of searching.

She gently grabbed his face and moved it into the right direction. "Right above you."

He got a kind of satisfaction from seeing something so far away with his own eyes, and his cheeks burnt even more red. She liked it too, seeing the tiny speck and feeling the feeling of light years of distance.

"World's pretty big, huh." He mumbled, the cicadas making music.

"It's a wonder how people find each other."

Sometimes, in all fairness of her feelings rather than reality, she would like to close her eyes and pretend. There was something comforting about acting, at least for a moment, that they had found each other. And they had, but not in the way she wanted. She would wonder why, maybe she was too much for him, or he thought she was incapable of love, but the truth behind it all, was pretending was like the games she played. The tags and the chesses; he was kind of like the victory she relished in for a few sweet moments before it faded away.

"How is she doing?" She asked. It was an obligatory question, and maybe a part of her hoped that he would sigh sadly in response, or even shrug his shoulders and say, "Don't know, don't care." He never did. He was too kind.

"She's working the late shift tonight. I should leave soon, so I can meet her when she gets off of work."

She stared up at the stars. Dead people living; that was her now. The thrill was gone, and she felt dead.

"Does she know you're here?"

He let out a light laugh. "You make it sound scandalous."

"She doesn't seem to like me much."

He frowned, turning his head on the cold steel of train tracks to look at her. She wouldn't look at him.

"I doubt that's true. You two make good conversation."

If she were looking at him, she'd roll her eyes and laugh. She didn't have to meet his eyes for him to know that.

"Okay, maybe not." He admitted, sighing and looking back up.

She didn't know what he expected. Namjoon's fiancé and her were very, very different. Minji was, sweet, she could give her that. She was very nice. She was also kind of stupid, and pretty boring, and as safe as you could get. But it didn't matter, because she was very nice. And Namjoon knew that, and Namjoon knew Mina judged him for his choice in Minji, and Namjoon knew Minji was undoubtedly safe. However, that did not seem to sway him. Mina refused to argue it.

"You guys will come around to each other." He stated. She hardly believed it. Honestly, she didn't really want to come around to this girl. "Look at me." He said when she kept her head forward.

"I'm looking at Jupiter."

"Jupiter will still be there in ten seconds."

"You never know- the world could combust, or Jupiter could combust, or maybe we could all drop dead-"

He sighed and looked back at the sky in response, and she stopped talking. She didn't want to be mean, or rude, or uninviting in any way. But the truth was, she was infinitely jealous. Minji, with her dark hair, and soft eyes, and seemingly shallow brain could capture Namjoon. She made it look easy. It was not.

"You know, you're still my best friend, right?"

He spoke soft, in a tone of voice he only got during the night time or early morning, when they were together and something serious suddenly struck him. It reminded her of a music box.

"Yeah, I know." She said. She really did know, but knowing so didn't help. It only confused her more. She was unlucky, for that, because the weight of her feelings for him hadn't even fully hit her yet. She was in for something deep, and unreal, and part of that was love, but a lot of that was pain. "You should go pick her up now."

And he did, so Mina was left under the stars, watching Jupiter with her head pressed to the cold train tracks, and a slight part of her hoping to hear the low rumble and blow of a horn.