Again

Chapter 18

"Thank you," Kayla began, "Are you mad at me?"  She was afraid of what his answer may be, but she had to ask. Taylor's opinion of her mattered more than she was willing to admit.

Taylor paused for a moment, gathering his thoughts and making sure the words he was about to speak conveyed the correct message, "I'm not mad.  Maybe a little disappointed?  I know that probably makes me sound like a hypocrite, because well, obviously I'm in a similar situation, but I guess I figured my brothers would take my situation into consideration and be more careful.  And honestly, and please don't take this the wrong way, but I thought you were smart enough to be a little more careful to.  Even without me being in this situation, I guess I figured you wouldn't let something like this happen."  

Kayla lowered her head again, a dreadful feeling of shame washing over her.  Taylor was gentle with his delivery, but his words were true all the same.  She knew this is why they had the impact they did.  Kayla had always had the same plan for her life, being a teenage mother was never even in the realm of possibilities and yet, here she found herself.  She didn't realize the tears had begun to fall again, until one splashed on her hand, making her sniffle almost immediately.

"Hey," Taylor said, taking her hand when he'd heard her start crying, "Come here," he said as he embraced her.  Kayla let her body melt into him, and allowed the tears to flow loudly from her body. "You're going to be fine.  Whatever the outcome is, it will be fine.  Is it going to be hard and scary?  Of course, but you and Zac love each other.  Probably more than any two people should.  And I know my brother, he'd never even let you think about going through any of this alone.  I know he's young and immature sometimes, but he'd do anything in his power to protect you and take care of you and your baby.  You know that Kayla.  I promise, everything will be okay.  Things will work themselves out.  And if we need to, Natalie and I can stay and help.   I know you want to go to college and be a doctor, and we will always do whatever we can to support you."

"What about Kate?" Kayla asked quietly, rubbing the back of her hand across her nose.  It was a silly question, she knew, but it was still a sore subject for her. "Zac loves her.  What if he wanted to be back with her and now he can't because I'm pregnant?  That wouldn't be fair to any of us.  I don't want Zac to be with me just because I'm pregnant.  Not if that's not what he would have chosen if I wasn't.  God, this is going to ruin his life!" She sobbed again, loudly, and Taylor held her tighter.  She was right on a few things, but he felt like this wasn't the time to congratulate her for that.  He was glad that she wasn't looking at this situation through rose colored lenses; he knew that could potentially be hurtful to her in the end.  Still, he was at a loss for words.  He wanted to comfort her, yet somehow her logical brain had already taken that chance away from him.

"Hey," he finally spoke.  Kayla looked up at him, wiping away at her eyes.  She looked so small to him in that moment.  The fear in her eyes reminded him of the day he'd met her.  When his mother finally told him the condition in which Kayla had been living before she moved in with her grandmother, Taylor finally was able to understand why someone that young could show that much emotion with one look. "You will be fine.  I know it's hard to think of it that way now, because this is new and big and scary for you, and because this is the first time that you're talking about it with anyone, right?"  he paused, and she nodded.  "I don't have all the answers.  I can't speak for Zac and his current situation or what he's feeling or who he may or may not choose, but I do know this: Zac loves you more than you give yourself credit for.  Has he made bad choices?  Personally, I would say yes, but it's not my place to decide that for him.  What I do know is that if he were to decide that he wants to move forward with you and try to build a family, it would not be just because you are pregnant.  He knows you wouldn't go for that anyway," he paused and she chuckled softly.  "And trust me, this will not ruin his life.  People will talk and speculate and he'll look like an ass for a little while but people will get over it.  Trust me, I'm becoming an expert on the subject." He winked his eye at her, and she smiled, finally beginning to feel better.