Ms.Martin

XI

The pizza arrives at the same time as we do. Adrianna takes the pizza as I open the door and let Luke down. We decide to sit down at the coffee table and watch the latest season of Big Mouth because neither of us have seen it.

"Are you going to need a blanket? I know it can get cold in here." I nod my head at her and she walks off into what I assume is her room. Luke hops into my lap and stretches out so I can rub his belly.

She walks into the room and hands me a blanket and I nod my head in thanks. I move to where I can lay down, using one of the pillows on the couch to lay my head on. I'm situated on the smallest side, while she's on the other side, in the same position. Our pillows are against each other and our faces are kind of close, but I try to ignore it. I grab a piece of pizza and we start the show. One of the characters said something about abortion so I decided to ask her opinion on it.
"See, abortion doesn't really bother me." I mentally face palm at what just came out of my mouth.

"Really?" I expected her to be upset, but she just looks curious.

"Yeah. Well, I agree with most of it. Just not like, abortions for pregnancies almost carried to term. At that point, it's mostly a fully born baby, ya know? So, at that point, why not just give it up for adoption?" Adrianna seems to be in thought and nods her head after a few seconds.

"I agree with that. I just couldn't see myself having an abortion."

"Why is that?" She looks at me with a small smile.

"Um, because I can't really get pregnant? I mean, I can, but the possibilities are so small."

"What do you mean?"

"Tatum. I'm gay." My jaw drops while she laughs. "I know, I don't look like the type but here I am." We both just fall into a comfortable silence and continue watching the movie.

My eyes start to feel a little bit droopy, but I hear a small snore beside me. Looking over, my teacher is fast asleep. She looks adorable. But also, uncomfortable. I kind of want to take her to her room so she doesn't hurt her back. With my final decision, I get off the couch as quietly as I can, moving Luke to where he'd still be sleeping. I watched him to make sure he wouldn't make a sound to wake up Adrianna. Still keeping my eye on the dog, I slowly move over to my teacher. I put one arm under her legs and one arm under her head and pick her up. Almost instinctively, she wraps her arms around my neck and buries her face in the crook of it. I try to ignore her warm breath on my neck and make my way to her room. Shivers ran up my spine the whole time.

The door is slightly open and I nudge it open with my foot. It hits the wall with a soft thud. Adrianna moves a little in my arms to where her lips are touching my skin. My heart is beating so hard that I'm scared that the sound of it will wake her up.

Ignoring my feelings, I walk over to the side of the bed it seems that she uses the most. I balance most of her weight in one arm and pull the cover down. She shifts a little bit and I think she's waking up.

"Tatum?" She looks up at me with her blue eyes barely open.

"Shhh. You were uncomfortable so I'm moving you to your room. Is that ok?" Adrianna just nods and puts her head back in my neck. She moves her head a little bit and it sends a shock up and down my spine.

I lay her down on the bed and pull the covers over her. She pulls the covers up to her neck and curls up. I'm just now noticing how her room is decorated. She has a queen-sized bed with a white duvet and a black frame. Her nightstands are white with black lamps. The walls are white, while the door frames and closet doors are black. The far wall of her room is just a huge window that looks out onto her backyard, but it has blackout curtains for a little bit of privacy. There's a desk that looks almost untouched. On the wall with the desk, there's a bunch of pictures of her and what I assume are her friends and family. She looks so happy. It makes me smile.

I decided to stop snooping around and leave her room. I hear a slight sound of protest when I open the door.

"What did you say?" I ask.

"Don't go. I don't want to be alone." Adrianna has her eyes half way open, but I don't think she's aware of what she's saying.

"You'll be fine. I wouldn't want to disturb you anyway." I start to leave the room again.

"Please," She begs me. I sigh.

"Ok, but I'll sleep on the floor. I'll be right back." I walk into the living room and grab the blanket, along with the pillow. Luke starts to whine, so I pick him up too and carry him in there. I make a little pallet on the floor and get settled. I hear her start to snore and start to drift off myself. The small dog curls up by my neck and we both fall asleep within five minutes.

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I wake up to the smell of coffee. As I sit up, I realize my back is aching and it hurts to move. Trying to ignore it, I walk into the kitchen to see Adrianna at the table with a cup of coffee and she's on her phone. When she sees me walk in, a huge smile takes over her face, which makes me smile as well.

"Good morning!" She says. I laugh at her enthusiasm.

"Good morning, Adri. Do you mind if I have some coffee? I'm really craving some right now."

"The cups are on the bottom shelf of that cabinet and the cream and sugar is on the counter." I nod my head at her in appreciation and sit down with her when I finish making my coffee. "I didn't think you'd be up this early on a Saturday."

"I always get up super early. Today is actually my relaxing day, where I don't work out or anything, but I always try to get up at the same time." She nods and we begin to talk about last night.

"So, how did I end up in my room? Did I walk in there?" Adri asks. I blush at this.

"Um. I actually carried you in there. I hope you don't mind, you just looked super uncomfortable," I say kind of fast.

"Tatum, I don't mind. Thank you. I really appreciate it. I would also like to apologize for making you feel like you needed to sleep on the floor. I'm so sorry, I was so tired, I don't even know what I was saying." We both kind of just laughed about it and started telling stories about when we were younger.

Halfway through a story about how I broke Asher's nose, I get a call from Madison. I apologize and accept the call.

"Hello?" I answer.

"Hello?! You're going to freaking HELLO me after I had to find out from Asher that your grandma died? And then he tells me that you didn't come home last night?" I felt guilty for not telling her, but it wasn't her business.

"Calm down. I'm ok."

"Yeah, well I'm fucking glad you told me about everything that happened. So much for being fucking best friends Tatum."

"I'm sorry. I didn't really want to talk about it or to anyone." I had tears in my eyes.

"Well that fucking sucks. You should always tell me that shit. I hate not-"

"You aren't my damn mother! I literally just lost one of the most important people in my life and all you can talk about is yourself? Who does that? No. Madison you're such a control freak, man. Why does it matter where I was at as long as I was safe? You aren't my mom, you aren't my girlfriend. Just stop." With that I hung up the phone. I turned around and saw my teacher's worried face in the doorway.

"Are you ok?" She asks me. I tried to make some type of words come out of my mouth but the only thing that came out was air. I broke down and fell on the ground. I had my back against the wall and my head between my knees while I cried. The reality of everything that has happened in the past 24 hours hits me. I lost my grandma. Even if she did hate the fact that I was gay, she was still there for me whenever I needed her.

My heart felt like it was literally breaking in half. I couldn't stop crying. Suddenly, I felt an arm around me.

"Shhhh. It's ok." I tried to control my crying because I didn't want to embarrass myself. "No, don't control it. It'll feel better if you just let it all out now. You don't need to explain anything to me." With that, I turned to where my face was in her neck and I just kept crying while I held on to her like she was the only thing holding me onto this earth. Why can't I control my emotions around her? How does she break my walls down like this? Why do I let her break my walls down like this when I've never let anyone else in? What is going on?