crucio ━ harry potter (1)

xi. reality hits

For the first time in a few days, sunshine came through the windows of the Burrow and directs itself towards Luke. He rests his head in his hands and props himself up by his elbows. His hair becoming less tussled by the minute compared to when he woke up. His auburn eyes filling with curiosity as he looked at her.

"What's wrong?" he asked softly.

"I don't ever want to talk about it." she admitted to him quietly. She had contemplated what Harry told her about talking about it. She couldn't see it from his point of view about how it would benefit her. "The Other World, I can't see how talking about it will make a difference. I know everyone wants me to talk about it, but I can't."

Luke looked at her. "I know you don't want to talk about it."

"It's not that I don't want to, I can't."

"I get it, you weren't conditioned growing up to talk about things." he mentions with a small nod. "It's going to be a while before you're gonna want to talk about anything."

Slowly she nods. "Why doesn't Harry get that? Why didn't he get that...."

"He doesn't know...." Luke trailed off, and when she gestured for him to continue he did. "He doesn't know about the way your grandparents treated you. He only wants what is best for you. You know how everyone deals with grief differently? Harry deals with it differently, he would want to talk about it, unlike you. He doesn't know what you're been through."

Her heart raced at the thought of her grandparents and she found the room getting smaller. She sat up in her spot and brought her legs up to her chest. Every time she thought about them, part of her felt like she was being dragged back into the basement in that house.

He placed his hand on her back, and she felt comfort at the touch.

"Your grandparents took so much from you, your innocence, your childhood, they took that from you." he whispers. "Don't let them ruin more."

They fell into a small silence and she was the one who indicated it by not replying to him. Her grandparents wanted to have control of her life even though she hadn't seen them in months. They wanted control of her. Had she been letting them have control over her? Was she letting them control her again?

Should she tell Sirius about the way she grew up?

For a long time, she did deny that anything was wrong with how she grew up. She told herself it was something that just happened and didn't affect her, but now she was seeing differently. Was the reason she didn't want to talk about her feelings to Harry because she never talked about anything that traumatic that happened to her?

"I know it's going to take time and I know that right now you don't think it'll help you but...just consider it?" Luke asked eventually. "Just consider the thought of telling Sirius...not even Harry...just Sirius."

She found herself glaring at him, but when he gave her the smallest of glares back, she stopped and sighed.

"Alright. . . .I'll consider it." she told him and even saying that sounded wrong to her, but she didn't go back on her word and would do so.