angel. h.s ✔️

thirty three.

"Okay so what is your type? Redheads, brunettes? Tall, short? Your age, younger or older?"

I rattled off watching as Harry just shrugged at me and I let out a breath of irritation. "Harry, why don't you want a girlfriend? I want you to be happy. All your friends are in relationships."

I did want Harry to be happy and that meant ignoring the stabbing pain in my chest anytime I thought let alone spoke about Harry having a girlfriend. Getting into a relationship and not having as much time to spend with me.

Which was selfish and exactly why I was ignoring it and pushing on.

"He's not a girlfriend person he's more a get his dick wet and ditch." Eleanor informed me.

"So why not just fuck Tessa for a night?"

"Why are you pushing this?" Harry almost snapped at me but I still flinched at his tone, immediately feeling bad for trying.

"Sorry. I just want you to be happy." I muttered, busying myself with taking a sip of my coffee as silence covered the table and I kicked myself for ruining a nice afternoon.

"So how did you guys meet?" I asked redirecting my attention towards Louis and Eleanor, the latter rolling her eyes as Louis grinned.

"Funny story actually." Louis was almost giddy.

"It's not really." Eleanor rolled her eyes at her boyfriend again. "My brother is a drug addict and he got into debt with Louis, obviously couldn't pay it so I went along one day to try and get Louis to reconsider—"

"She offered to fuck me in exchange for erasing her brothers debt." Louis cut in shocking me. Eleanor was pretty, in fact she was beautiful and to be fair if I looked like her, I'd probably sleep with anyone too.

"We went on a couple of dates, ending up hooking up and here we are." Eleanor finished with an easy smile as she looked at Louis and my heart ached. They were clearly in love it was plain to see.

I don't think Tommy and I looked like that to other people.

"What about your brother?" I asked, remembering his debt.

"Obviously not going to kill my girlfriends brother am I?" Louis snorted making Harry roll his eyes and me balk before remembering, they were in a gang.

"Don't you think that sent the wrong message though? You going to sort out your brothers problems?" I asked Eleanor.

"Yes thank you May! See I told you, you shouldn't offer to fuck people for money or whatever." Louis grinned at me and I frowned.

"No that's not what I meant," I shook my head.

"It's Eleanor's body and she could do whatever or whoever she wants, I know if I looked like you I would." I paused to laugh a little with her. "I just meant that you fixing your brothers problems tells him that he can do whatever and it'll be okay because you'll be there to bail him out?"

"Oh." I ignored Louis.

"I thought of that too May but at the end of the day he's my brother so I probably would be there to help him out whenever, it just so happens that this time turned out in my favour." Eleanor shrugged as we ignored Louis' second noise of protest.

Harry nudged me after a few moments of silence and I turned back to face him with a small smile on my face.

"Would you really sleep around?"

I frowned before realising what he was referring to and shrugged nodding.

"Probably yeah. I wouldn't be with Tommy thats for sure." Maybe I would be, at some point I did like him as a person. "But I don't and I'm lucky Tommy loves me."

I watched as Harry opened his mouth to say something only to close it again making me laugh lightly at him, his brows furrowing before he smiled at me and I found myself wondering what goes on inside his head.

Harry was very smart and seemed to be a complex person, I imagined his thoughts must be just the same.

"My breaks over." I told the small group as I stood and collected my phone and empty mug.

"I'll bring you guys some more drinks over." I smiled as Eleanor gave me a small wave before I smiled once more at Harry before heading down the café.

"Excuse me, are you May?"

+

i started writing a new chapter cause i had all this motivation and ideas whilst i was at work today but then i wrote the first three paragraphs and gave up n watched designated survivor instead lmao soooo