Soiree

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Thursday 11th April

So this probably sounds like the most out of this world stupidly ridiculous idea that I've ever had, and given my recent behaviour the bench mark for crazy is already high, but I've been thinking more about my "attainable target" hypothesis, and there is one person that just will not be banished from my mind.

Now I can't quite believe I'm thinking this, let alone writing it down, but maybe, well, okay, deep breath, what about taking Harry Styles up on his offer? There I said it, but really, eww, what am I thinking, I hate Harry Styles!

But wait, if I consider my problem with a calm and logical approach, this habit of panicking about boys to the point of making myself sick, well it's just not normal. And I can't imagine that Harry would ever make me so nervous that I'll end up covered in puke. In fact he doesn't make me nervous at all, just really irritated, and if he did ever drive me to the point of vomiting then it would be out of disgust not lust.

But most of all, with time to reflect, I've realised that despite his general awfulness, he did show courage beyond that of the other boys when he spoke forth and told me that I was fit. And bravery is a very endearing quality in a man, something which Luke is clearly devoid of since he had to get Flora to ask me out for him. Plus, I guess Harry's always been popular, in a plonkerish sort of way, and his hair, well okay, it's currently more Typhoon Trevor than Jamie style curtains, but maybe, just maybe, it could look slightly trendy if a woman were to chuck a bucket of Frizz Ease at it. And if you squint and tilt your head then perhaps he isn't that bad looking? Who am I trying to kid, Harry is that bad looking! That's it I'm going to tell Mother to have me committed, if only to save myself from Harry Styles.

Friday 12th April

Well this is totally typical, but at least my indecision and temporary insanity have been resolved for me.

Now that I've set myself the disturbing objective of pursuing Harry Styles and his queerest of offers, he's only gone and got himself a girlfriend. I'm astonished; I mean who would actually want to go out with him for real? Maybe the young lady in question is also using him as an antidote to rationalise her way out of mental illness?

'You won't know her; she goes to St. Leonard's,' Liam informed me, as I made what I thought to be a cunningly subtle manoeuvre to gain information, 'anyway, why are you asking?' He quite rightly looked appalled, 'you don't like him do you?'

'Don't be so ridiculous, of course I don't like him!'

Saturday 13th April

Oh for once I am so lucky. As if Mother and Daddy trust me enough to leave me at home, alone, whilst they go on a 'mini break'. They have left their worldly possessions in my more than capable hands. Oh how they must really be confident of my maturity, to leave me alone for an entire week. Can you imagine Natasha's parents ever doing such a thing, I don't think so! Her mother would need to take a Valium just contemplating what stains might penetrate her carpets in her absence.

Of course Natasha came bounding round, hatching a plan, immediately as Mother and Daddy had departed.

'We are not having a party!' Natasha thinks it only the proper thing to do, a "rite of passage" that we celebrate my independence, despite my protests that Mother has too many breakable trinkets to risk pulling off even a social climbing coup such as a party.

'Stop being such a wimp Simone, there's no need to cry about it, and if you ask me most of that crap needs binning anyway, so you'd be doing her a favour. Plus, it's too late now, since I've already invited the boys around for the evening.'

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