Desperate for Love - Harry Styles

Chapter 10

Essie’s Point of View

“Essie?” Sam peaks her head in the door way where I just turn my head to the right to see her in sweats and her brown hair pulled back.

“Hm?” I responded.

“Are you hungry?” she asked me, and I nodded my head no. I have such a bad appetite recently as well; maybe from stress or me being a little bit on the wrong side. Honestly, I don’t want to eat.

I groan of exhaustion and turn to my side facing the opposite of the doorway. The air conditioning was on extra high today since it was quite warm, so I bundled up in a blanket and pulled out my cell phone and dialed my mother’s phone number.

“Mom?” I said whimpering, and weakly.

“What’s wrong honey?” she asked me. I sniffed back a tear.

“I can’t do this anymore,” I tell her making her moan.

“Do what?”

“Love,” I tell her again; having Harry caught onto the back on my mind.

“You’re in love?” she asked me.

“No, just relationships in general; I mean I can be in love I don’t know,”

“Well, I have to bring your dad to dialysis, call you later boo,” she said her goodbyes and I cuddled back up in my blanket.

All I could think about was Harry, but not in the odd ‘I’m in love’ way; just the thought of him makes me smile because he always brightened my mood. I reached down to my neck and stroked with my fingers gently the necklace he gave to me on my birthday. Some days; I wonder if he still wears the matching one.

From all the interviews he’s been on since he gave me it; he doesn’t wear it but I think it’s because he doesn’t want them to question it; which I personally don’t blame them. I turned myself so I was laying flat on my belly and I had my face flat on the pillow; I knew I wasn’t going to move after this.

“Essie, Essie, ESSIE,” Lo called out from over the bed, yelling at me. I rubbed my tired eyes and flipped over to my back so I was facing Lo.

“What?” I moaned out with a tired, groggy voice. I propped myself on my elbows and ran my right hand through my blonde hair.

“It’s time to eat, you haven’t ate in days,” She tells me while handing me a bowl of oatmeal. I sighed and sat up and took the bowl from her hands.

“Thanks,” I said coldly as she left the room. I took a spoonful of the disgusting oatmeal and shoved it in my mouth while gagging. Once I finished the bowl I went over to the floor length mirror and pulled my shirt up. I was losing too much weight. My hip bones poked out completely and my ribs were practically bare with no fat or muscle. My legs were getting tiny and I couldn’t stand the way I looked.

I walked out of the room and into the bathroom to take a shower. Stripping completely naked; I stepped inside the shower to turn on the hot water, lathering myself in water and soap until I was clean. I then stepped out and wrapped myself in a robe and wrapped my hair in a towel.

“Hey, Sam,” I called out, walking to the end of the hall and into the main room which contained the living room and the kitchen.

“Yeah?” she asked while stepping out of the kitchen and to where I was.

“I’m bored,” I tell her smoothly, making her bite her bottom lip.

“Well, do you want to go out or something? You haven’t done anything all week,” she tells me.