Until Then [l.t. au]

Chapter Three.

This is everything I didn't say....

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“Well, I made a draft on the night before I flew here. I copied it to a clean sheet and that was the one I sent to him. I think I have the draft in my bag.” – I looked for it and found it. – “Here.”

Mary opened the wrinkled sheet and read…

Dear Louis,

I know things between us aren’t in good terms right now, but I had to write you this letter or else I would be mad at myself.

When you walked into my life it was like someone had resuscitated me. I was pretty down before I met you did you know that? My parents brought me here because I used to hang out with a group of drug, sex and alcohol addicts. You saw how Mike looked when he first walked into my house. I even remember you commenting it. 

Well, my parents knew that, although I wasn’t practicing any of that, sooner or later I would. So they took measures into their own hands. And that was the best thing they could have ever done, because I met the best people in the world: you and Mary. You are everything to me, my biggest friends. You already know about this, so let's move on.

But you Louis… You are, without a doubt, the one I will never forget… You were, are and will forever be the most important person in my life. The one who stayed with me through good and bad times; the one who comforted me when I needed; the one who made me laugh effortlessly, the one who also pissed me off so many times; the one who was by my side when everybody else had given up on me; the one who abdicated so much so he could stay with me at home, while I was sick or injured. You will always be my dork, my doughnut. Remember that?

I know you’re still upset with me, but I didn’t mean any of what I said. I missed you. I missed our dates, our conversations, our jokes, our hugs, our own language… I just missed what we used to be. And I know you miss that too and not just a little, am I right?

Anyways, I just want to apologize. To you and Eleanor. I just wanted some alone time with my best friend, that was all. But apparently, everything has changed… And, most likely won’t go back to the way it was. People grow up and move on, right?

I left Doncaster and I am never coming back… At least for the next four years. I went to study abroad. I really hope you'll forgive me and that you will never forget about me, because I know I won’t ever forget about you. I hope that one day we can meet again and you see just how much I missed you. It hurts being away from you, Louis. I can’t handle it. It’s like a part of me is missing.

But don’t you worry, I take a lot of memories with me. Remember that day by the lake? Oh that day… I will never forget it. That was the first time we kissed (at least sober haha) and you told me I was too important to let go of. It was then that I realized how much you mean to me. But you’re with Eleanor now and I know you’re happy and that’s all I want in life. For you to be happy.

Love you always,

Carrie

I stared at Mary. She was crying…

“Carrie, oh my… This is so beautiful. You’re really in love with him. I felt every single word you wrote and you tell me this is just a draft? I really hope Louis reads this and realizes how letting you go was the biggest mistake of his life.” – She got up and hugged me.