Something More {Mclennon Oneshots}

Not My Paul

"I'm Billy Shears." He spoke. A crazy idea had suddenly popped into John's head. "Do you play guitar Billy?" John asked. Billy shrugged, "I can but not as good as you guys can." John smiled, "Won't you stay for dinner Billy?" The farm boy smiled, "Oh of course, but where's Paul?" Their faces all dropped and Billy noticed. "Is something wrong?" He asked. Ringo swallowed, "He's not here." He said. "We can talk about this more later." John added. George went off into the kitchen to try to find some food for dinner, there wasn't much, just some potatoes and pasta.

While George was cooking, Ringo decided to help him, and the other two went to walk around the farm. Billy went into Paul's shed and grabbed the chicken feed, he looked to John who was only staring at the smaller boy, he looked and behaved the exact same way as Paul. Maybe god decided Paul was really important and decided to clone him or something. Billy thought John was just curious about the chickens though, "Would you like to help?" He said to John as he picked up one of the hens. John shrugged and took a handful of feed, throwing it into the small hoard of chickens. Billy set down the hen in his arms and put the chicken's food away. "Would you like to see something quite cute?" Billy asked John with a smile. The smaller boy led John to a chicken coop and opened it. There was a hen with five little chicks running around. Billy picked one up and nuzzled it to his face, "They hatched yesterday morning." John smiled, he felt as if he were talking to Paul again, something he'd never get the chance to do anymore. He wanted Billy to stay with him, it was like a repair for the hole in his heart, though him and Paul had a connection that nobody could replicate. "Would you like to join our band son?" John asked without hesitation.  There was silence and Billy's movements and words had become jumbled, "Shouldn't you discuss this with the rest of your current band? Why me anyway, I'm just a nobody? And where's Paul?" He put the little chick back and closed the coop. John sighed, "Paul was in a fatal car crash, there were no survivors." John said as he tried his best to keep a straight face. Billy's face became more pale than it already was. "Y-you mean..." he gulped, "Paul's dead?" John nodded solemnly. "And you want me to replace him?" Billy added. John shrugged, "I'm not sure yet, all I know is that you're just like him and your company would be quite comforting, even just for a little while." John said. George yelled out a window that dinner was ready so the other two went into the house in silence.

As they all sat around the table eating, it was silent. One might even say it was deathly quiet. Afterwards, Ringo put the dishes in the sink and cleaned everything up. John put his shoes and coat on and ushered for Billy to do the same. "Where do you think you're going?" George asked to John. "I want to stay the night with Billy, get to know him and thank him for everything, you know." He answered and left with the other boy. Ringo sat next to George on the couch. "Rings, John's gonna get hurt." George sighed. Ringo hugged his best friend tightly. "I know, just because he looks like Paul doesn't mean he is Paul. Maybe he'll help John realize that and move on." George sniffled as a tear slipped down his cheek.

Billy went around his house, cleaning whatever small messes he had made and turned on the lights. John took off his shoes and hung up his coat before collapsing on Billy's brown leather couch. There was no television for the boys to distract themselves with so it was silent, until John spoke, "You have a guitar Shears?" Billy sat down on the couch with John, as far as he could. "I do, but a couple of the strings need fixing and I haven't gone to town in a while." Billy finished and noticed that John had scooted right next to him. "You have a girlfriend?" John asked with hooded eyes. Billy actually laughed out loud at this point, "I hate to break it to you but I'm actually queer." John smiled and leaned impossibly close to the other boy, the smell of cigarettes radiated from John's breath. Billy tried to back away, but there was no where for him to go. John closed the space between them and gently kissed Billy. In his mind he was kissing Paul for the last time, Billy felt how lonely John was now that Paul was gone. Billy really didn't want to kiss John but he felt as if John needed comfort right now. John was passionate and sweet, until he pulled away and spoke, "Billy, can I make love to you?" Billy saw John's eyes water and his lip quivered, so he shook his head. John's eyes widened and he became desperate. "Billy please?" He started to cry. 

Billy said no once again. "You don't need me John, what you need is Paul." John laid on top of the other boy, he sobbed into his chest and clenched his shirt as tight as he could. "Paul isn't here anymore you bastard!" Billy shushed him and and stroked his hair and back, whispering occasionally that things would be okay in the end. John had stopped shaking and crying, he'd fallen asleep atop the other boy. Billy laid quietly on the couch for about an hour just thinking about what he should do. Without Paul, John seemed to be falling apart, it was a sad thing to admit but John couldn't live without Paul. 

Billy had much experience of lifting heavy things, he was a farm boy after all, so he did his best to gently carry John to the bed. He covered John with a green quilt and slept cuddled up to the older boy to create some comfort.

 The next morning when John awoke, he was shocked to find himself in bed with Paul. He smiled to himself, it was just like the old days and John leaned over to plant a kiss on top of the dark mess of hair. "Good morning Paulie." John whispered. John's smile disappeared though when the younger boy opened his eyes. He'd know Paul's eyes anywhere. These eyes he was looking into were absent of love, at least for him. Paul's eyes radiated happiness and just looking into them caused John to fall deeper into a euphoric feeling that could only be described as love but felt like so much more. This wasn't Paul, though he may seem like Paul to everyone else.

John sat up and rubbed his eyes, willing the tears away. Shock flowed through his body when he felt Billy hug him. "I may not be Paul but I can act like it for you and the fans, that is if you still want me." Billy said and nervously bit his lip. John hugged Billy back, "You may not be Paul but I'll move on eventually, and your company may be exactly what the band and I need." John smiled sadly and the two gave each other a little peck on the lips. Billy had signed his life away for the good of everyone who loved The Beatles and mostly for John's sake. Their relationship was lacking much love and John found Yoko who helped him from his depression of losing Paul, and the rest is history.