Queen of Summer's Ice (Book 2)

Chapter 39

     I didn't want to be in my own home, not in the moment. I didn't want to go back to the river, or to the forest. I knew what place my heart and mind needed, so I went there. I went the the mountains where the labyrinth of caves scared most intruders, but inside there was an important one I used to go to years ago with a special someone.

    It was supposed to be his birthday in a couple of months, I never forgot. And sometimes when my heart was feeling heavy I would imagine how he would look right about now. How he would have looked as a man, if he gotten the chance to live long enough.

     "Hi Logan," I said to the empty space. It was still untouched, forever the room where the pile of sticks laid near the stack of blankets we'd used every chance we could. "I'm not sure if you heard, but I'm pregnant again."

     Was he on the other side watching me? Judging me as I am judging myself for my poor decisions? No - no, he was never that kind of person. He would probably carry me around and spin me until I cracked just the smallest of smiles. Which he had to do a few times in the past, that's when he knew he could always change my mood for the better. 

     Tears started to fill my eyes. Logan was forever just a memory to me now. I couldn't even paint him properly, not just because I didn't have that artistic talent, but because his face was becoming a blur. The realization of that punched me in my heart and tears started to flow down my face. "I could have made you immortal, if I would have known, if I was stronger. I could have protected you," I said to his spirit.

     He didn't reply.

     The cave was silent, like how it has been for the past century. And how it would remain for many more.

     Two hours later I felt the movement of Alagan outside of the cave. He felt as if he wasn't going to stop, that he was going to come inside. Just before he did I put up an ice barrier to block him out. He was my brother, and I trusted him, but I had a protectiveness over the last memory I had of Logan. No one has ever stepped inside here except the two of us, and now just me. Getting the hint Alagan waited outside the cave instead of breaking the glass and barging in like I know he could have.

     He wasn't leaving though, so I sighed and said my quiet goodbyes to the cave and my precious memories. My steps were echoed as I reached the mouth of the cave. My wall of ice moved like a door for me, and closed as soon as I was completely out. The snow around here was stronger, another trick I used to keep any of the winter citizens afar in case they got curious. 

     I looked at Alagan, his arms were in his coat pockets. He tried not to look me in the eyes, since they still happened to be red from tears. "Ray said that you would be here."

     "What else did he tell you about this place."

     "He told me that it was your information to tell or not."

     I didn't nod my head, just simply took in the words. It didn't surprise me that Ray knew where I would be, he didn't even need the lands powers to know what I would do before I do it. I had told him about the cave a year into his move here to winter. And him being the best husband I could ever have, respected it. Was even glad that there was still a place I could have hold Logan's memories. And not once did he offer to come with me, or to see the place.

     "Of course he did."

      "You don't need to tell me. I still have secrets from you. Memories to harsh to share, but they'll come out, in time."

     I looked back at the cave and turned around to Alagan. Without saying anything I started walking back to the castle, slowly though, so I could hear the crunch of the snow. "He was my only friend growing up. He wasn't scared of me, didn't fear what I was and what I could do. I loved him with all my heart. This was the only place we could be alone, from me being a princess, the daughter of a monster, and where we could...just be ourselves. I shouldn't have to remind you how cruel mother was, and I'm sure you can figure out the rest of the story."