burning bridges /negan.

IX.

IX.
- fire meet gasoline : sia -
"we're a perfect match, perfect somehow"

i lay awake last night, my mind consumed by terrible thoughts of the supplies run going wrong. anything could happen when the team steps out of those gates. images i painted of negan fighting off the undead made me cringe. thoughts of him getting bitten and turning almost brought me to tears.

they're due to be back anytime now. i sit by my small window and stare blankly at the courtyard below for a while.

just as i stand and begin slumping slowly back to my bed, i hear rusty gates squeaking open. i turn a one eighty and rush frantically back to the window. a sense of pure relief passes over my body. he's back.

i catch my heart beat rising insanely and give up on trying to calm it back down. instead i make the journey to the courtyard once again, down the four flights and bursting through the large doors into the opening, where the man now stands proudly, lucille in hand.

"negan!" i shout out in joy. as i realise my mistake, as if on cue, the rest of the saviours gathered around turn to face me.

"well hello to you too darlin'" he shouts, splitting the silence lingering in the air.

i feel blood rushing to my face as i stand vulnerable before a crowd of people.

the crowd begins to part however, men and women alike drop to their knees to make way for negan, their leader, to strut through. it's as if he could split the sea. i wouldn't doubt it.

"someone's excited to see me huh?" he smirks as he paces towards me. i bend quickly and bow to him, i'm still under his power like all the rest.

"stop that shit. stand." i slowly raise my head and cautiously come face to face with him.

he leans in slowly and moves to my ear. i can just about smell his cologne, it's masked by sweat and the faint smell of blood. gruesome, yes, but intoxicating.

"you miss me?" he whispers. his gritty voice rings in my ears and makes my legs weak.

i nod quickly.

"speak up." he orders.

"yes negan," he pulls away and lets out a small chuckle,

"lots." i let out, under my breath.

he turns back to face the saviours. all of them still on the floor, not even daring to look in my direction.

"get back to work. party's over" he booms.

they disperse and negan marches back to the herd of vans from last night's run.

i find myself glued to my spot. half in fear and half in shock. a safe distance from negan, enough to observe him at work, i stand motionless and out of place.

"billie!" my name bellows throughout the courtyard. it sounds so raw and raspy from his mouth.

"yes sir?" i shout back.

"close your eyes doll, i've got a surprise for you."

what does that mean? i comply with his wishes however, and cover my eyes with the palms of my hands.

i hear a truck boot slide open and a few odd clanks and bumps. i wonder what this could be, and why i deserve a surprise.

"open."

i peel my hands away from my face and my jaw drops as i register what negan has got for me. oh my.

without thinking i run to him. the fastest and most desperate run i ever have, before leaping into his arms.

he catches the bottom of my thighs. i wrap my scrawny legs around his torso and i kiss his mouth. rough and sloppy. full of lust and awe and happiness.

in this moment, it is only us.

he kisses back. his overgrown stubble itches my skin and his grip moves and tightens around my back. i taste smoke and cherries on his tongue. i feel so free. it's something so strange, hard to define.

negan ends the kiss abruptly, breathing heavily and a look of pure shock on his face. i slide down his body and land both of my feet on the floor.

flustered, i manage to blurt out, "i love it negan. thank you."

i can imagine my face is as red as blood at this moment, but i don't care. in front of me is a bicycle. a beautiful blue bike. it's perfect.

i scan the area and realise that our kiss was a huge display. i separate dwight's eyes from the rest and look away quickly. suddenly i feel ashamed.

he smirks as he watches me squirm uncomfortably in front of him.

"well, holy fuck kid."