Good Morrow

"Good morrow, sir." I tipped my top-hat to the gentleman coming off the Whirly-Water-Slide. "Could I talk to you about how the Rippin-Dippin-Fremont-Water-Park is actually built on a Ghost family reunion site?"

He froze, his mouth suddenly shaped into a comic 'O' .

"G-g-g-g-GHOST!!!" He pointed an accusing finger, turned white as, well, me, and then fainted. I sighed. Darn that local horror writer! After her terrifying and totally inaccurate ghost story went viral, not a single living soul would listen to me.

I glided beneath the dripping underbodies of the water slides, until I reached the wave pool. "Good morrow," I tipped my hat to a boy in red swim trunks. He started to cry.

"BLOOODDDYY M000RDDEERRRRR!!!!"

I nearly jumped out of my transparent skin as Steve came spinning out of the Twisty--Terror-Tube while screaming at the top of his lungs, rocketed fifty feet in the air, and then zoomed to the ground. A crowd of people near the Tube-of-Doom shrieked and ran.

I glided over at once. "Steve! You know stunts are not allowed! And after all I'm going to try and get them to shut down the park!"

"Dey Scar-re so easily, I joost cano't rrresist." He flashed me a grin then spun and rocketed back into the air.

"You're not even Italian!" I shouted after him. "And 'screaming bloody murder' is just an expression!"

I spent another few hours drifting around the water park, but not a single guest seemed to care anything about Ghost Rights.

Finally, the shadows stretched out and people began to leave. I sat beside one of the overflowing trash bins and watched the manager storm out of his office.

"Good morrow, sir," I said to him tentatively.

"It most certainly is not!" He spun to me, his face red as a tomato and hands shaped like claws. "I'm horribly understaffed and now I've lost my speaker for tomorrow's new recruits!"

New recruits? Understaffed? This was my chance!

"But sir, I will speak to your recruits!" And if I mentioned them moving the park, so be it.

The next morning, I nervously adjusted my top-hat, floating in and out of walls as I paced the room. My speech had to be inspiring, uplifting, a call to Ghost Rights everywhere!

Finally, the new recruits gathered, and I took a deep breath, adjusted my top hat, opened my mouth—

"BLOOOODDDDYYYY M00RRRDDDDDEEERRRR!!!!" Steve burst through the wall, covered in bright red Slurpee, and if I hadn't already been dead, I might have died of fright. The others screamed and toppled over each other to escape.

"That's it," the manager cried, "I can't take it anymore! This crazy park is closed!"

I'd done it!

Well, with a bit of help, but still!

Steve zipped back into the room, "Se-e? I told-a you it wa-as pr-rronounced bloddy moor-der!"

I tipped my top-hat at him, and then he rocketed out of the room with a grin.