Dear Past, You Suck!

Home Is Where The Heart Is

"No.Nononono," I said looking around the room. If I am dead he should be here too.

"Whats wrong?" My "mom" asked. "What are you looking for."

"He should be here too. If I'm here he should be here too."

"...Who? I tried to call dad but he wouldn't-"

"No Abe. Where is he?"

"I'm not sure who that is, sweetheart, but Monica is waiting outside."

"No not them. I died with him he should be here too!"

"What?"

Pushing my mom away, I stood up and grabbed my IV pole, wheeling into the hallway. He has to be in another room. "Abe? Abe!" I called as I rushed out of the room, turning right into a doctor.

"Woah, what are you doing? You should not be standing!" Dr. Gagnon, I presume, grabbed me by the arm directing me back into bed.

"Answer me honestly, am I dead?" My voice shook.

"No, you came darn close but you are fine now." He said while reading over a chart at the end of my bed.

"I don't believe you," I said my voice breaking.

"Look," he said as he took out a pen from his pocket and drew a little dot on my hand," Could you feel that?" He asked and I nodded," Can you see it?" He asked and I nodded," Then you can't be dead can you?" I shook my head as my eyes filled with tears.

"So I am home." And that was in some way just as bad as being dead.

My mom lowered her voice,"Will she be alright, you know, mentally?"

The doctor answered," Yes she'll be alright in an hour or so once the grogginess wears off."

"But she was calling for someone named Abe?"

"Thats nothing to worry about. Comatose patients often dream like we do, and it is common for them to become confused between the dream and reality when waking up. It will wear off in a few days. We can have her restrained for a while if you would like but I think in this case it is unnecessary. She is adapting surprisingly well."

"When will we be able to bring her home?"

"Like always we recommend keeping her overnight for observations-"

"No, that will not do! I'm going home," I said. I have waited years to come home and I am not postponing that even by one hour.

"No, Alice we should listen to Dr. Gagnon."

"No it is fine, as I was about to say, we would recommend staying at least a night, but based on her chart she can be discharged in three hours. That is as long as everything continues to go so smoothly. When you bring her home, make sure she doesn't strain..." I zoned out as the doctor started telling my mom the specific details of what to do with me. The directions seem really unnecessary because I feel physically fine. I felt worse last night as I was sitting in my cell than I do right now. I feel the most clean I have in years and this bed is more comfortable than the straw one back home. Not back home. I am home now. I absentmindedly run my hand down my stomach but stop quickly when I find it to be flat. Fake. It was all fake he said. I was never going to have a baby. But then why do I feel so hollow like a piece so familiar and loved was gone? Was it all in my head?

"Alright that's it. I'll leave you guys to catch up," Dr. Gagnon said. As he left the room Monica ran in, nearly knocking the doctor over, "Woah calm down girlie, you don't want to startle your sister." She didn't take heed of his words and continued to run in, jumping onto the foot of my bed.