The Forgotten Ones (A Completed Steamy, Historical Romance)

September 2, 1862

I heard him fall onto the bed. "It was lies." He grunted out.

"You know the truth Oliver." I cried.

He got up and sat next to me. "This war is destroying me."

"You're not the man I married." I cried. He turned to me and cradled my face. "I'm going mad without you. I can't do this much longer. One night is all I get, and I allowed my demons to hurt you."

I just looked at him with tears in my eyes. "If you knew how much I love you...you would never.." I tried to speak. "You would never believe the lies. You went to see her before you came to me and our children."

I heard him bang the back of his head against the wall. "I'm destroying us. " He cried.

"You're doing a great job at that." I spit out.

"I didn't go see her, she stopped us when we rode through town." He said. "I didn't believe her, then I saw Armstrong. He's falling in love with you!" He cried.

"You made promises to that man who is quite lonely. Of course he looks at me different. You promised me to him and gave me no choice in the matter."

"I am so sorry. I allowed my own guilt to drive me into madness when I saw him."

"Your own guilt?" I don't like this... "You had another woman."

"A brothel, just as your father and brothers. It's so lonely out there, Naomi. I dream of you every night. We had drinks, and we all sinned that night."

My stomach turned, and I ran for the basin. My stomach lost all of its contents. Oliver came up behind me and tried to console me, but I pushed him away.

"You touched me after you touched another woman! Why did you come home. Why make love to me?" I paused

"You left marks on me and hurt me." I cried as I wiped my nose with the back of my hand.

He grabbed a candle and tried to look me over, but I pushed him. "Don't touch me."

I walked over and threw on my shift, then washed out my mouth with the fresh pitcher of water.

"Naomi, I've seen things."

"I've seen things too! I was nearly raped twice, whipped, and torn it two when I pushed out your children. I have scars too." I cried. "I've been assaulted twice now, and your touch is the only touch I could ever allow, and you've taken that away! Just because my father and brothers endulged in brothel whores, doesn't mean it was okay for you. You raped me right there in our marriage bed. Get out of my sight!"

"No!" He shook his head and he was crying. "I'll never sleep a single night in this home without you."

"Then go to the barn and sleep with the other animals!"

I climbed into my bed and he followed. "Get out!"

He forced his arms around me. "No, I'll fix this, Naomi."

"You can't fix what is already broken." I said.

He stroked my hair. "I'll never be rough with you again. I'll never touch another woman."

"A wore isn't a woman." I said.

"I'll make you love me again." He cried.

"I'll never stop loving you. Don't you understand? That's the problem, I love you, and you broke me."

"I love you." He said, and I just cried.

"I'll never forgive myself." He said, and as the light flickered, I saw his scars. He looks as if he has been shred to pieces.

"Thousands of men layed dead on that battlefield and I survived. Children and young men layed massacred. There was so much blood. Why didn't the Lord take me? I can't erase it, I can't run from it, and I can't bare it any longer." He cried.

"The scars on my body will never represent the scars on my soul." He layed back and pulled at his own hair. "I don't deserve you or those lives we created. I've killed so many. I looked into the eyes of a child that couldn't have been more than 15 and buried my knife into him, then held him as he took his last breath. A woman in Port Republic was raped by my own men, and all I could see was you, and what Vest did to you. I went to Indianapolis after the birth of our children and buried my knife into Vest's skull. The Army just watched. I'm a murderer, Naomi, and now I've raped my own wife. I'm not sane any longer. I have no control over anything anymore."

My heart broke into pieces.

"Oliver, look at me." He shook his head and hid his face. "Oliver, please." He didn't move, so I removed his hands.

"You have my heart, and for the rest of our lives I will be in love with you. A love like ours never dies. You do have control, you have my heart in your hands. I won't let this war break us, and I promise until the day I take my last breath, you will always have it with you. I'm always with you."

He finally fell asleep in my arms. I stared at him, grieving over the torturous things he has done.