The Risen [John Seed]

Chapter 10

Through John's cheeks ran tears. He catched his hair and layed his head on the wall. His worst nightmare came true. He wasn't afraid that she is gonna stop loving him. He was afraid that she's gonna look at him with a fear, with disgust - what was possible. He knew that it was his fault. He just felt that it's on him, it's always on him. But he loved her. With her he was different person. He felt that there's a reason to live. But she was gone. She saw him in his worst moment. His moment of weakness.

He screamed and pushed the drawer what made it fell. His hair felt on his face full of tears. He squeezed his hands and stood on the middle of the room. He felt powerless.

"Everything's okay?" some man opened the door at the sound of scream. John looked at him with anger.

"Nothing's okay! Get the f<ck out of here before I kill you" he admitted at what scared cultist shutted the door and John wiped his tears.

Angelina knew that another quarrel was pointless and that Joseph can't see her crying. Before walking in the home, she took a deep breath and wiped her tears. She passed by sitting Joseph in the living room and entered her room. The girl slammed the door and then she was alone with her thoughts. She covered her mouth with one hand and started to cry. She had only one picture of him in her head. She was breathing heavily. Even though, she heard about Miller from Jacob and saw Faith's angels, she was more frustrated now. That man was her love. She trusted him.

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Everything was harder than before. She was avoiding any topic about John. With time, she really was close to accept it. She even have read Joseph's book twice. The young woman started to understand, to believe. The whole atonement, cleansing till sacrifice and collapse. But still it haven't brung the results she wanted. It's been three days since her talk with John. She missed him, but she was scared. She had a lot of hesitantions. Some part of her stopped to trust him. Some part wanted to end this. But there was still the huge part which loved him.

It was calm afternoon, till someone knocked on the door to her room, while she was cleaning up.

"Joseph, if you hope that by coming here more often, it will be cleaned up faster, you are wrong" she spoke not putting attention to the man who walked in.

"Hey, Angelina" she heard "this" voice behind her. The girl raised up and slowly turned back to him. He looked totally tired and had dried tears on his face. Angelina wasn't best looking as well. Her hair were oil and she wasn't sleeping almost at all.

"Get out" she immediately replied. In one moment all of her hate to him came back.

"Let me say something" he begged. The girl looked at him less cold than seconds before. Through her head ran millions of voices.

"Before anything... I don't want to live in freaking lies anymore-" she stopped the chaos in their head.

"You won't"

"Let me finish. You will tell me everything. No matter how bad, how terrible things. Everything. If you want me to trust you, I need to know" she stated, and John nodded without hesitation. He was ready to do anything to make her come back. Then he made a step closer to her, at what she made a step back.

"You're scared of me" he admitted.

"It's not truth" she lied, knowing that he was kind of right.

"I know you, An. I can see fear on your face and I understand that, but I want you to know that I will never ever hurt you and I will never let anyone hurt you. I should've told you about this earlier, but I was afraid that you're gonna-"

"That I'm gonna leave you"

"Yes, exactly. I care about you, I would never hurt you and I love you, Angelina." he spoke, getting her trust back with every word. She could see in his eyes that he was saying the truth, that he really cared. He wasn't lying for sure. It was his first time saying "I love you". You can say that these are just three simple words, but for him not. He kept that reference for this right person, and it was she. In one moment, all of her thoughts and hesitantions disappeared. She ran to him and hugged so tight. He immediately responded. The girl missed his presence so bad, after all.