raising it » david dobrik

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@.DavidDobrik: Introducing Jason Clickbait Dobrik!! 3 days old, 6 pounds 9 ounces, 20 inches long!! Loves Sloane's boobs and pooping, hates loud noises and flamethrowers (no we didn't actually expose him to the flamethrower)

David thought it was a funny way to introduce our newborn son to his six million Instagram followers. I was on some light pain meds and could barely move for fear of splitting open the stitches literally sewing my vagina together, so I didn't mind that much either. The clicks made David richer and that meant a better life for our son, so I let him do whatever he wanted.

I commented you expect them to believe I'd name my kid after JASON of all people? and let do the fans do the work, laughing as I watched rumors spread about what the actual name could be. The guesses ranged from "Python" (what the fuck?) to "David Jr" (kind of close), none of them actually being right.

"Hey," David nudged me out of my thoughts, smiling down at me. "They're almost here, so if you want to put your tits up..."

"Oh," I laughed, realizing I did, in fact, have a boob hanging out. Breast feeding was a lot of work, and I always was prepared. "Sorry. I didn't notice."

"I can't wait for everyone to meet him," David softly smiled down at the little tiny baby in his arms. "He is perfect, really. We couldn't have done any better."

"I know, right?" I grinned, lightly stroking our baby's cheek. "So I found the hand sanitizer and put it at the door. Do you think we should have anything else?"

"I told them all to shower and wear clean clothes and not come if they were sick," David told me. "Jonah's not coming, but..."

"That's okay," I nodded, knowing David always got himself into something stupid whenever Jonah was around. "Everyone's just dropping in, right? I feel kind of bad that I don't have food made or something if we're having a party."

"Honey, I'm sure they won't mind considering you just shoved our baby out of your coochie," he said, no hint of a joking tone.

"Never say coochie again unless it's ironically," I scolded him, jumping when someone knocked on our front door. David stood, very carefully placing the baby into my awaiting arms, and made his way to the door, returning to the living room behind Heath and Mariah.

"Hey, Sloane," Heath smiled while Mariah sat down next to me on the couch, her arms awaiting my sweet little baby. "Oh my god, David, he is so cute."

"I know," David nodded in agreement, staring down at us with a smile. "He looks just like Sloane. It couldn't have gone better if I picked his genes myself."

"Yeah, if he looked like you, you really would be screwed," Heath joked, nudging David in the ribs.

"I know," David responded with a laugh. "He's fucking adorable."

"I can't believe you're a dad," Mariah said, to which I nodded in agreement. I could not believe David was a dad either, except he was a perfect one. In the two days we had been home, he had helped rock the baby to sleep and made sure I slept and fed the baby and changed diapers and not complained. I knew my standards were low, but it was nice. It was cute. I loved him.

"I can't either," David chuckled, squatting down in front of us to get a better look. "But I love it."

Zane, Carly, Erin and Bruce arrived together just a few minutes after Heath and Mariah. Our baby was passed around, and as much as I tried to chill out and remind myself that they were adults, it was scary. I was constantly in fear that they were going to drop him and crack his head open. David kept me calm by rubbing soothing circles with his thumb on my thigh. It helped (a little).

Liza was the next to arrive, and her reaction to seeing the baby calmed me down completely.

I hated to admit it, since David and I had a literal child together, but I was still insecure about Liza and David's relationship. Even though it'd been almost a year since their official breakup and several months since David kind of (?) cheated on me with her, I still got an uneasy feeling whenever she was around. Not that she was actively trying to steal my man or anything, but anyone with a brain and two eyes could see that David had a soft spot for her, and I didn't want to lose him.

That being said, the light in Liza's eyes when she first spotted our teeny, tiny baby in Zane's arms was very encouraging.

"Oh my goodness, he's so tiny!" she squealed in a baby voice, gingerly taking him from Zane's arms and sitting down next to David. "He's so adorable, wow. He looks like a perfect mix of you guys."

"That is how genes work," David mumbled under his breath, only laughing when Liza slapped his arm. "Ever heard of meiosis?"

"Ever heard of your mom?" she retorted, then went right back to sweet talking the baby. The rest of the group had to leave while she was over, so it ended up being just us in the house for almost fifteen minutes. "You know, I really am so happy for you guys. You're going to be great parents."

"Thanks, Liza," he smiled, wrapping an arm over the top of the couch behind her. Normally, my defenses would've gone up instantly, but I found myself just not caring. Liza wasn't evil, and she wasn't trying to get at my man. They were just friends. She was happy for us.

"Seriously, I cannot believe you have a baby, David," she half chuckled, looking down at the small creature in her arms with a bright smile. We talked for a few more minutes about our lives post-baby, then David excused himself to go change before the others showed up.

"I'm so relieved that it's not with me," Liza admitted, half a smile on her face. She winced, "Sorry, is that mean?"

"No," I laughed, urging her to continue with my hands. "Keep talkin', girl."

"I'm just... I don't know how to say it. Obviously I love David, but looking back on it, we would've never worked out," she explained, her hand lightly stroking up and down the baby's cheek. "I am so glad he found you. When he first told me about everything—the pregnancy and the contract and all—I was so, so worried he was about to get screwed over again. I didn't trust you at all, but I can say for a fact you have made him grow as a person a lot. He loves you so much, and God, the way he looks at this handsome little dude... I just am so glad this happened with you. David deserves it; he really does."

"Well, thank you, Liza," I smiled, grateful to hear her truth. "That's sweet."

Everyone else trickled in throughout the day, and by eight o'clock, David, the baby and I were exhausted.

"Should you tell them before we go to bed?" I asked.

"You can."

@.sloanecarlisle: introducing Luke David Dobrik, the cutest Dobrik i've ever met <33 David and i are so so so lucky and so so so in love!! thank u for all the kind words, we love youuuuuu <333333

do we like it do we hate it lmk

pretty sure david said somewhere he wanted to name his son luke?? idk where bc i am trash but

vote comment and follow me if u enjoyed!! lmk ur thoughts!!

xoxo abby