The Weirdest Story Never Told

Chapter Five: The Dance of Death

(The camera returns to Story!Lizzy, who is sitting in a fancy chair and stroking the book like a cat.)

Story!Lizzy: (Still stroking the book; looks at the camera) Welcome back my dear readers. I do hope you enjoyed the story.

Also Story!Lizzy?!?: (Breaking glass is heard and Story!Lizzy runs into frame) Who the hell are you!

Not Story!Lizzy?: (Sets the book down and stands up) Why, I'm Story!Lizzy. And who might you be?

Also Not Story!Lizzy?!?: No, I'm Story!Lizzy!

Kai: (Runs into frame) Hey, wait! No! We already did this!

Andie: (Transforms back into Andie) Aw... But, Kai... you're ruining our fu- (Falls to the floor)

Story!Lizzy: (Standing behind Andie, holding a toaster above her head) Aha! Got you!

Kai: Lizzy! What do you think you're doing?

Story!Lizzy: (Looks at Kai and grins) Shhh... You didn't see anything... (Summons an oven above Kai)

Kai: I'm sorry, but is that a- (Oven falls and knocks Kai unconscious)

Story!Lizzy: My turn with the camera! (Grabs said camera and runs off)

---=====---

I've been thinking a lot lately... It's almost been a week since I found the Death Note and... and I decided that... that I need to spice these deaths up a bit! I mean, death by kitten is cool and all, but I'm sure I can do better.

To concoct my brilliant plan I decided I should study the rules of the Death Note long and hard. I also did, like, five minutes of googling on the anime (turns out I was right about that). I didn't learn much, but I did come up with a pretty amazing plan, if I do say so myself.

To set my plan to motion I wrote down the time and cause of death before I wrote down their names. Instead of having to find out all their names myself I would have them sign their own death warrant, it was brilliant! There was the little snag of them having to picture the face of the person, it would be too suspicious if I asked them to think of their face so I decided to stick one of those holographic silver strikers on the corner of the page. I figured that enough people would end up looking at it and seeing their reflections before they wrote down their names for it to be effective.

Tearing the pages out of the Death Note I made sure to cover up the time and cause of death up with a paper sleeve, leaving just enough room for them to write their names.

I ran out the busy street and started walking up to people, papers in hand. The first person I approached was a businessman, he just had this face the screamed "douche".

"Excuse me sir? Can I have a moment of your time?" I asked as nicely as I could.

"What do you want, girly?" The man said, rather rudely I might add.

"Would you be so kind as to sign this petition? It's for-" I asked.

"Yeah, yeah. Give me the damn paper and pen," The man interrupted and took the pages and pen. He signed his name and I smiled sweetly.

"Thank you, sir!" I yelled after him as he walked away.

For the next hour or so I continued the same pattern, and I was very careful to only to target the douchebags. By the end I had close to 50 signatures. As the last victim was walking way I checked my phone, it was almost time for the fun to start. I made a quick stop at a convenience store and bought a bag of chips before return to the street, it was time.

Slowly I began see the same unlucky souls gathering on the sidewalks. Their eyes were glazed over and unfocused, the plan had been a success. Right on the hour they all began to wander into the center of the intersection after all the cars had passed. People passing by on the streets started to turn and stare in confusion, little did they know they were going to see something so beautiful.

Then? Well, we got to my favorite part.

Suddenly, everyone standing in the road froze. They stood motionless for several seconds before they all started dancing. Poorly. I guess even a magical notebook of death and destruction can't make someone a good dancer. Laughter erupted throughout the street as people began to watch, some even pulled out their phones and started filming. Boy, they were in for a treat.

Just as suddenly as the dance had begun a loud honking was heard. Everyone, save for the dancing fools, froze and turned towards the sound. Racing down what had moments ago been a silent street was an out-of-control semi-truck. People began shouting at the fools in the street, but they showed no signs of hear them. Time seemed to slow as the truck continued to race forwards finally plowing into the dancers. Interestingly, after running over the dancers the truck just seemed to... stop, no one else got hurt. Not even the driver, I saw him climb out, look at all the bodies, and run the hell away.

Giddy at the mayhem I had caused, I made my way to a nearby alleyway and, after making sure it was empty, started to laugh. My fun time was soon cut short by my ring phone. I groaned in frustration as I answered.

"Dammit, Lizzy! What did you do?!?" Kai voice bled through the speaker nad echoed around the alley.

"What did I do? I don't know what you're talking about Kai," I said innocently.

"Don't play dumb with me, Lizzy. I know you have the Death Note! So that means you're the one who's behind this latest disaster."

"Am I? Maybe some folks just wanted to party and ended up in a horrible accident?"

"Yeah right, no one would dance like that in a public intersection."

"Yeah, they were pretty bad, weren't they." I conceded with a chuckle.

"That's not the point!" Kai said. Silence followed for several seconds before I heard her take a deep breath. "Look, I need you to come over to my house and give me that damn notebook."

"Nah, I don't wanna."

"Tsk... Fine, meet me at the parlor and I'll buy you some ice cream, but only if you give me the notebook," Kai said. It sure was a tempting offer, but... it could be sweeter.

"Only if you actually order what I ask for."

"Yeah, sure, whatever. Just show up, okay?" Bingo!

"Alright! I'll meet you tomorrow at noon! Toodaloo, Kai!"

"Hey, Liz-" I heard her say as I hung up. I wonder what she was going to say?

Eager for tomorrow I skipped away to use the notebook a few more times. Might as well when I still have it, right?