The Weirdest Story Never Told

Chapter Two: The Pen is Mightier than the Sword

Kai: (Closing the story book) And that dear readers is how I managed to unintentionally release Hell on Earth. And I bet you'll never guess who rose it.

Story!Lizzy: (Suddenly appears and jump tackles Kai) Me!

Kai: (Pushing Lizzy off; stands up) Lizzy? What the hell are you doing here?!

Story!Lizzy: (Smiling) Stealing the camera. (Summons a club)

Kai: (Confused) Wha...? What are you going to do with that club Liz-

Story!Lizzy: (Smacks Kai over the head with the club) Oopsies~!

Kai: (Moans and falls unconscious)

Story!Lizzy: (Frowning) Didn't I already tell you? I wanted the camera, Kai. You should've listened. (Looks at the camera) You better get ready... (Picks up the camera) This chapter started with a bludgeoning... (Looks at the screen; smiling evilly) And it'll only get worse. (Opens up the story book)

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As I walked away from Kai and back to my apartment I spotted something lying on the ground. As I got closer it looked like a...

...notebook? A notebook? Why is this here? I walked over and picked it up. On the cover in pretty white letters were the words 'Death Note'. A Death Note? Is this one of those things Kai is always going on about? Something from one of her... animes? I opened it up and took a look inside.

On the inside cover there were more pretty white letters and they said, 'Death Note: How to use it: I'. And after that it said, '1. The human whose name is written in this note will...'.

"...will die?!" I dropped the notebook on the ground.

"Oh. My. God. This is... This is..." I swiped the Death Note back off the ground and hugged it. "This is the thing of my dreams~!" I was positively tickled pink after reading those words. I ran as fast as I could home.

After bolting through the door, impatiently waiting in the elevator, shouting something at my folks about not bugging me, and finally locking my door I sat down and read the beautiful notebook.

After a bit of reading I learned that you can kill anyone just by writing their name. And as if that wasn't cool enough if you were fast enough you could also put how you wanted them to die and even fill in all the gory details. It was just so awesome.

Though after googling a bit about the Death Note, which was from one of Kai animes, I learned that there were also a ton of rules. Like... more than fifty pages. My mind can't comprehend. I just can't understand how Kai is so into reading. But all that dumb rules aside this notebook was just what I was waiting for. It would be so fun to play with people like ants and watch them squirm.

And so I turned on the TV to see if I could find any victims. The rules had said that I'd need to know someone's name and face to kill them so the news was the obvious option. Plus, if I killed someone while they were on camera then I could see my handiwork right away.

I search through the various news looking for a live broadcast that I could sabotage. After searching for like, ever, I finally found a suitable test subject. It was this news anchor from this really... sleazy channel that really just pushed my buttons, which made him the perfect little test rat.

His name was something like... Sleazy McSleazybag, or something like that... maybe it was Douchey McDoucherton, or... yeah, I have no idea what it was. Well I knew it then, but it seems to have escaped my mind.

Anyway, what his name was aside that's not what you're listening for. You're here to hear all the wonderfully, glory details of how that asshole died. Well, here they are.

After I wrote down the poor sap's name I wrote the time, like five minutes later, and of course the cause of death. And what was the cause you ask? Why death by kitten scratches of course.

After waiting five agonizing minutes staring at the TV screen. It was finally time to see if it would work. Five minutes later and it happened.

A countless number of kittens came pouring into the studio causing mass panic. Women screamed, men screamed (like women), and every little girl watching squealed in delight at all the cuteness.

Then the magic began. Suddenly all the adorable furballs charged to What's-His-Face the news anchor and they dug their claws right into the bastard. As they scratched and they scratched and they scratched and they scratched, he screamed and he screamed and he screamed. It was quite enjoyable really, getting to hear his blood curdling screaming of terror as they slowly clawed away his life.

It took like, I dunno, an hour for the poor guy to finally give up on life. I'm surprised they aired the whole thing... not sure why they did, but they did. I would've felt bad about it, but... he was so, so, so much of a sleazy jerk that I just couldn't.

I then started to contemplate life... before deciding that this was the best thing that's ever happened to me.

I wanted to test out these powers some more. I mean... who wouldn't want to cause some more death and destruction? I do, that's for certain!

I debated on whether on what channel to try next before deciding I wanted to see it happen in person. Carefully, I grabbed my laptop and bag and put the Death Note in one of the inside pockets. I proceeded to skip my way to the local coffee shop where I then pulled out the notebook as well as the laptop. To keep me busy I played around on my laptop until I waited for the perfect victim.

It was getting late and I was sitting near the counter, so I could hear when everyone tells the barista their names to pick up their drinks. Suddenly, a business man slipped into the shop. He made his way to the front of the line, pushing past the other people who were waiting.

Next thing I know the customers are complaining about this man as he proves he thinks he is better than everyone. Apparently he is a fairly famous business man. Smiling slightly, I knew this would be my next victim. I pulled out my pen and started writing down the details needed.

5 minutes later the business man leaves with his coffee after he threatened to shut down the shop. At the end of those same 5 minutes, you can hear a large thump as well as a car screeching to a halt.

The people inside the shop rushed outside to see what happened while I just... chuckled. It absolutely made me giddy with how well that worked. But... I knew I needed more and as tempted as I was to continue this tonight... who knows what could happen to a teenage girl like me late at night... and I can't write that fast.

So I rushed home and went immediately to my room, shouting to leave me alone again before rushing to sleep in hopes to get an early start to the day.