i hate that after everything, people suddenly adore me and want nothing more than to see sweet, pretty _____ smile again. they want her to be happy, but WITH them. they want her to smile, but WITH them. and if she doesn't? "i'll still care, i'll still be here for you"
i don't want want their haunting words or feverish confessions. i don't want their hands snaking their way onto my waist and arms and face. i don't want any of them to talk to me. i don't want them at all.
the only person i want can no longer be near me. i won't allow them to, if they cared to be. i doubt that they would. because i've been up at nights, with thoughts racing throughout my head if my anxiety filled fears are true or not. i don't know if i want to know. i don't want to think of some other girl, in their arms, smiling like i used to and hearing the pretty words like i used to. i don't want to think about the kisses i'm no longer going to receive or the hugs i'm no longer going to get. i don't want to think about it but i do and i can't do anything about it. i can't cry anymore. i can't waste my life thinking about the last (almost) two years that were amazing and perfect. i can't stay in my own mind, i feel, without reliving it all.
i felt like i was spiraling. like i was losing my mind.
i'm getting better, though.
YOU ARE READING
sunshine.
Poetryyou are my sunshine, my only sunshine you make me happy when skies are gray you never know dear, how much i love you please don't take my sunshine away poetry.
