Red vs Blue Season 1

Episode 1

Red Base

Two soldiers stood on top of the base. A maroon one named Simmons and an orange one named Grif while a blood red and green one named Scout came up behind them.

Simmons: Hey.

Grif: Yeah?

Simmons: You ever wonder why we're here?

Grif: It's one of life's greatest mysteries isn't it? Why are we here? I mean, are we the product of some cosmic coincidence, or is there really a God watching everything? You know, with a plan for us and stuff. I don't know, man, but it keeps me up at night.

Simmons stares at Grif in silence while Scout is trying not to laugh.

Simmons: What the hell was all that about?!

Grif: uuuuuuh?

Scout: (laughing slightly) He meant why are we out here in this canyon.

Grif: Oh. Uh.... yeah.

Simmons: What was all that stuff about God?

Grif: Uh....hm? nothing.

Scout: You want to talk about it?

Grif: No.

Scout: You sure?

Grif: Yeah.

Simmons: Seriously though, why are we out here? As far as I can tell, it's just a box canyon in the middle of nowhere. No way in or out.

Scout: You could always climb up the cliff face. Just saying.

Simmons: Shut up Scout.

Scout: (mutters) Asshole.

Simmons: The only reason that we set up a red base over here is because they set up a blue base over there. And the only reason they have a blue base over there is because we have a red base over here.

Grif: Yeah. That's because we're fighting each other.

Simmons: But I mean, even if we were to pull out today, and if they would come to take our base, they would have two bases in the middle of a box canyon. Whoopdee-fucking-doo.

Grif: What's up with that anyway? I mean, I signed on to fight some aliens. Next thing I know, Master Chief blows up the whole Covenant armada and I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere fighting a bunch of blue guys.

Scout: Are you saying you want to fight an alien race that is stronger than us and way more advanced? I don't know about you but I'd rather fight these guys.

Grif: .........Huh. Didn't think about that.

The cliffs

Three soldiers are currently watching Grif, Simmons, and Scout from atop a cliff, one wielding a sniper rifle and in cobalt armor named Church, one standing behind him in teal armor named Tucker, and another drawing on the wall behind them in sky blue and purple armor named Sammy.

Tucker: What're they doing?

Church slowly turns around to face Tucker lowering his rifle.

Church: (aggravated) What?

Tucker: I said, "What are they doing now?"

Church: (frustrated) God damn it, I'm so sick of answering that question!

Tucker: (defensively) You have the fucking rifle, I can't see shit. Don't start to bitch at me because I'm not just gonna sit up here and play with my-

Sammy: Don't you dare finish that sentence Tucker!

Church: Okay, Okay, look they're just standing there and talking, okay. (getting angry) That's all they're doing. That's all they ever do, is just stand there and talk. That's what they were doing last week, that's what they were doing five minutes ago. So, five minutes from now when you ask me "What're they doing?" my answer is gonna be "They're still just talking and they're still just standing there!"

Sammy: Like us Church?

Church: Yes Sammy, like us.

Church looks over at Sammy and sees the wall covered in images of tanks and aircraft.

Church: Nice drawings.

Sammy: Thanks!

They go silent for a bit, Sammy turns back to his drawings to finish up the details.

Tucker: .......What are they talking about?

Church: ......You know what? I fucking hate you.

Sammy turns back to face Tucker.

Sammy: Tucker, it's a scope, not a speaker.

Tucker: Smartass.

Sammy: That's the 5th time you've called me that today, not a very creative guy are ya?

Tucker lets out an offended sound while Church tries not to laugh too loud, feeling nothing but pride at the moment.

Red Base

Grif, Simmons, and Scout are still standing around and talking.

Grif: Talk about a waste of resources. I mean, we should be out there finding new and intelligent forms of life...you know, fight them.

Simmons: Yeah, no shit. That's why they should put us in charge.

Scout: Oh God, I'd shoot myself if you two were put in charge!

Grif: Oh come on, it wouldn't be so bad for us to be in charge.

Scout: (points at Grif) You wouldn't be too bad, you would just be lazy and give out vague orders so that you get left alone. This one on the other hand (points at Simmons) would be a tyrant. Trying to show that he is better just because he is in charge.

While Grif laughs at the indignant sound Simmons makes, a soldier in red armor named Sarge comes to the front of the base below the three.

Sarge: Ladies! and Scout. Front and center on the double!

Simmons: Fuck!

Grif: Yes Sir!

Scout: Coming Sarge!

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A/n: Edited on 10/23/23