We're not living, we're surviving

1

That was the last memory of my family; that was a family item belonging to the three members of my family that were there for me most. I couldn't do it, I couldn't bury them twice.

Quickly, I un-dug all of the dirt until I felt the chain tangle around my fingers. I dusted off the dirt from it and slowly put it back around my neck. I couldn't leave it here. Rising shakily to my feet I ran my hands over my face, covering my eyes. They're dead, Emilia, dead and gone. A voice in the back of my mind said. And I knew it all too well. Maybe I'd have a better chance of accepting it if Jack didn't make surprise appearances, but I need them. I need him.

I turn and follow in the footsteps Daryl walked only moments ago.

"Emilia, are you okay?" Lori asked, worry lined her face. She outstretched her arms and pulled me in for a hug, cupping the back of my head in her hand.

"I'm fine, I'm fine." I mumbled into her shoulder, she was a tall woman, and I could, in no way, match up to her height.

She held me at arm's length and examined me for any injuries. "When you went upstairs, I thought you were gone. I thought none of you would make it out alive." She said, tears brimming her eyes as she pulled me in for another hug. I wrapped my arms tentatively around her. "I was worried sick about you."

"Me, why?" I said before I could stop myself, showing all the insecurities I'd felt over the past few days.

"You're like the daughter I'd never had, I care about you." She said, smiling, "Now come and get some food. You haven't eaten much in days." She said truthfully. I hadn't even eaten breakfast that morning, heck, I don't remember the last time I ate anything.

Following behind Lori, I sat inside the RV next to Sophia and Carl who were playing Go fish with a pack of old cards. Billy and Ben were in the back being cared for by Carol. I don't know whether they had been told about their parent's deaths yet, but either way, they were orphans now and needed caring for. Carol seemed to me the best person for the job, but I knew that all of the members of camp would look out for them, myself included, because we were a family.

"Here, eat these. Then Tyreese wants to talk to you, but I told him to wait." Lori smiled, sitting next to her son across the table.

"Why does he want to talk to me?" I asked as I took the can of fruit and the fork from her.

"I don't know, something about what happened when you were looking for Daryl." She said, shrugging one of her skinny shoulders.

"Oh." Was all I could manage. I had no idea which aspect of the trip would be brought up, but a part of me said I didn't want to find out.

I put the first piece of the fruit into my mouth and the taste exploded on my tongue. It was sweet, maybe a little too sweet, but it tasted good.

Once I'd finished my stomach gurgled in satisfaction and I sighed. It felt good to finally have something in my stomach.

"You look better already." Lori smiled as Tyreese entered the RV.

"Rick said we're leaving in the morning, it's going to be dark soon." He said standing at the end of the table. He turned his head towards the bad at the other end of the RV and smiled at Carol. "Hey,"

"Hey," she replied with a small smile.

"Emilia, can I have a word?" He asked, turning his attention to me.

I nodded and followed him out of the RV. He led me to a fallen tree at the side of the road out of earshot from camp. Sitting down he gestured for me to do the same.

"Are you okay?" He asked unexpectedly.

"Yeah," I smiled, "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, you killed someone." He said.