We're not living, we're surviving

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It's back. ;D Okay, so first off, sorry, this hasn't been edited very well. I was really excited to upload. And Secondly, I'm sorry that it's so long but not much happens. Just, enjoy and comment? :D

"It's okay, it's okay, it's okay," I whispered to myself trying not to think of the drop from here to the floor.

I was begging for Dale to stop the RV to allow us to get off of the roof, being this high up while the RV is stationary is a different matter to when it's moving at least seventy miles per hour. Even when it's stopped it's too high for me to feel comfortable.

"Are you okay there, Emilia?" Tyreese asked, his voice carrying an underlying tone of anger; though I know it's not directed at me. He'd just had to break his daughter and her boyfriend apart before they did something really stupid, especially in the situation we were in.

"Will be so much better when we can get down." I replied.

With only the roof rack to hold onto I felt completely unsafe. Back at the estate I had complete faith that I had a chance of surviving up until I went upstairs to get Julie and Chris; now though I felt completely certain I was going to die a horrible death by flying off the edge of the RV roof but it was probably just my imagination playing up.

"We need to get far enough away from those walkers that there is little chance of them catching up to us, if we stop now they just might be able to do that." Rick said.

"I know." I mumble, closing my eyes.

Slowly the RV draws to a halt and I spring to my feet and shoot down the ladder. When my feet touch the floor I breathe a sigh of relief.

"Don't like heights then?" Rick chuckles.

"Whatever gave you that impression?" I reply.

Slowly everyone filed out of their respective vehicles to stretch their legs before continuing on. Someone grabbed my wrist and pulled me off to the side, presumably to where we couldn't be seen. I was spun around and a kiss planted firmly on my lips.

"Don't do that to me again." The redneck mumbled into the kiss.

"Oh, Mr. Dixon, I didn't know you cared," I smiled and he looked at me with a stern expression. His face showed the extent to which he was thinking about all that had happened over the past few weeks.

"I thought you were dead," He said barely above a whisper, scared for me to hear.

"How do you think I felt when I returned to the house to find everyone gone? Then when I found the group only to find you'd gone on a rampage?" I said back, with a little more spite than was intentional. He looked at the floor and chewed furiously at the skin on his thumb. Running my hands through my hair I spoke again. "I'm sorry; I was worried sick about you. I-" I paused, "I needed to clear my head."

He looked at me with understanding as he cupped my cheek in his hand and kissed me tenderly on the lips once more. "I couldn't live if you died." He said awkwardly before kissing me again, this time harder, our tongues entwining. He gently rested his forehead against mine and then turned and strolled back to camp, without waiting for me to catch up.

I stayed where I was. He'd just admitted that he cares about me. I stared after him, though he was long out of sight. Guilt clenched my gut; I only ever thought about Jack, he was my husband, after all. But I knew this was what he wanted, for me to move on, he'd told me that. So why was I finding it so hard to forget about him? To forget about everyone in my old life and just live for the future?

I sighed and sub-consciously put my hand up to my neck. I'd forgotten all about the necklace that hung around it, the little reminder of how this all began. I traced the primrose with my thumb and slowly unclasped the necklace. Holding it with one hand I squatted down and with the other dug a small hole in the dirt. I gently placed the necklace in it before covering it with dirt.