Love is a scar

Happy

The next few days I spent in hospital were fine. Doctors came and went. So did my friends (it's gotten normal for me that word: friends). They brought teddies and chocolate and flowers. They all loved seeing me alive and well and actually enjoying myself again as I recovered.

Dean never left my side even when the Doctors and nurses came in which is good because I needed his support. One doctor came in and advised me on speaking to a therapist which I said I'd think about. I'm getting better at the whole speaking my problems but to a professional still makes me wanna throw up. Everyone knows what's happened with my past as I said to Ellie that she should tell them but nobody mentioned it when they saw me.

Dean had just gone to the bathroom down the hall but when he came back he had a smile on his face with Kelly the nurse trailing in behind him.
"You get to come home!" He said with arms wide open as a surprise moment. I laughed at his goofiness and did a small yippee. Kelly just shook her head smiling at the two of us. "We just have to finish some paperwork and then we get to leave, alright?" He said sitting on the edge on my bed grinning.
I smiled back "alright." I replied.
So that's what we did and I got changed into some clothes Ellie brought me a few days ago for when I was released from that hell hole which was nice and she knew I wouldn't want anything cute but just comfy. So I wore some joggers and baggy hoodie, that covered my bandages, and my black doc martins.

When Dean and finally reached home all I wanted to do was curl up on the sofa, eat pizza and watch some stupid romance film but as soon as I opened the door I was greeted by a loud "surprise'" from all the group. As they cheered and said welcome back. They are idiots all of them. But I said thank you and hugged all of them especially Seth he's like my new cuddly big brother. But that thought made me think: where is Alex? Has he left me again? I shook the thought off and returned to my amazing best friends. He never came back for me to begin with.

I guess everyone knew I was tired as all we did was order pizzas (as I had wished for) and watched movies. I was snuggled up with Ellie with a blanket with Dean at my feet while Seth and Harley sat on the new bean bags they brought.
While watching our last film which was twilight I saw the guys ranting about how it's crap and that Jacob isn't even that hot while Ellie had her own opinion.

These people are who surround me; love me for who I am. It might have taken me a while and a lot of emotional and physical hurt to realise but even the damaged can be loved. I think of how happy I am to finally understand true love from friendship. With my head resting on Ellie's lap I smile to myself and let the long awaited and long sleep take ahold of me.
I will change. I will change for the people who love me.