Ziall-Unfaithful

Chapter Nine

Heya guys here's the next chapter, And this is dedicated to iluvvampires123 since she was the one who asked me to update this :) Leave me your feedback guys 

Niall's Pov:

I awoke the following morning to Zayn still clinging tightly to my body, I sighed remembering the previous nights events, I couldn't help but imagine what if? What if I didn't get there in time? Zayn could have done some serious damage to his body, Or worse, I shivered at the thought before shaking my head to erase the images. I looked down at Zayn he looked so pale and tired, Josh wasn't lying when he said Zayn looked bad. I sighed before untangling myself from Zayn's body, I raised myself from the bed before feeling a hand grab mine. 

"Where are you going?" Zayn whispered. 

"Just to shower" I replied simply, Zayn nodded his head before releasing my hand. 

"Thank you Niall" He said, I raised my eyebrow. 

"What for?" I asked. 

"Keeping your promise" He replied, I smiled before nodding my head and leaving the room, I sighed once the door was closed. How could I leave him now? I never thought Zayn was capable of love, But he clearly is. I walked into his living room to find all the mess Zayn had left, I sighed before walking to the kitchen, Grabbing a bin bag, I then began to pick everything up, It took me around half an hour to clean his whole living room, I then proceeded to his bathroom to pick up the bottle of pills that he dropped. It finally dawned on me Zayn was trying to take his life, Zayn was trying to kill himself because I ended us, I ended our affair, I was so confused so many thoughts rushed through my mind, So many questions that needed answering, I sighed before throwing the rubbish bag out. After I'd done that I made my way into Zayn's kitchen to make him something to eat, He looks as though he hasn't eaten in months. I ended up making him some egg on toast seen as that was all there was in his fridge. Once I made it I walked back into Zayn's room to find him sitting up. 

"I'm sorry Niall" He said. 

"What for?" I asked trying to avoid eye contact with him. 

"Putting you through this it's not fair on you, I'm so pathetic for doing this to you" He said. 

"It's not just me your doing it to" I said coldly, Zayn looked down. 

"I don't want to hurt Josh, I just can't help my feelings towards you Niall" He replied, I sighed before handing him the tray.

"Eat this then get in the shower, After we can talk" I said, Zayn sighed but did as he was told. 

Zayn was in the shower for a good hour, If I didn't know any better I'd say he was trying to avoid our confrontation, The last one we had didn't go to well, I sat down on his bed still trying to get those mental images out my head, A few moments later Zayn walked into the room. 

"Hi" He whispered. 

"Hi" I mumbled back, Zayn sighed before taking a seat infront of me.

"Why Zayn?" I whispered looking up at him, "Why would you take those things? Why would you do that to yourself? Why would you ever consider ending your life there's so many people that care for you" I said. 

"To make the pain stop I guess, Everyday since you dumped me has felt like an eternity, Without you around there's no beat to my heart, There's no air for me to breathe, There's no blood rushing through my veins, There's nothing but emptiness, I've tried to fill this emptiness with Josh but it just hasn't worked. He's not you Niall, He never will be, He can't make me as happy as you did, It hurt to much for me to handle, I hurt the one man that I love, And no it's not Josh, It's you Niall, I hurt you, so I thought maybe, Just maybe if I wasn't around life would be so much easier for everyone" Zayn explained. 

"Easier for who Zayn? Do you have any idea how scared I was when I thought I'd lost you? Do you have any idea how much my heart was racing on the journey here? Do you know how it felt to even consider having to watch you be put in the ground?! I hate you Zayn! I hate what you done to me! I hate what you've made me do, I hate that I've turned into the one person I swore I never wanted to be, I hate that I've turned into you. But as much as I hate you Zayn, I can't stop loving you, And I can't let you go, I can't picture a life without you in, I don't want to be in anyone else's arms, I don't want to make love with anybody else, I don't want to wake up in anybody else's arms, It's not what I want, Your the one I want Zayn, But your not mine and you never will be, I walked away because I don't want to hurt anybody, I don't want to hurt you, Or Josh, But my heart Zayn it can't stop loving you" I exclaimed with tears falling from my eyes, Zayn looked at me as though he couldn't speak. 

"I never wanted you to do any of that for me Niall, I never wanted to make you be something your not, And I hate myself for what I've done to you, I hate that I've hurt you, I hate that I put you through that, I just thought you would be better off if I wasn't in this world" Zayn cried out, My heart shattered in that instant, A lump formed inside my throat. How could he think a life without him was a life I wanted?

"How can you think that?" I cried out, "How can you think I want this life if your not living it with me? How could you possibly think I want a world that doesn't have you in it? How can you think that Zayn? How can you think that I want to be without you? I love you, You stupid idiot" I yelled with tears pouring down my face. 

Me and Zayn both shot to our feet before we rushed over to eachother embracing in a tight hug, We cried while holding onto one another.

"Please don't leave me Niall" Zayn cried. 

"I never could" I replied, Zayn held me tighter before we both loosened our grip, Zayn leaned in timidly before gently kissing me, I kissed him back immediately holding him closer to me, Zayn gently pushed me back onto the bed, I was about to speak before he spoke. 

"Don't speak Niall, Don't say anything" He said pleading with me, I nodded my head before pulling him into another kiss, We didn't have sex together, It didn't feel right to at that moment, We just cuddled and kissed and talked, We were acting as though we was a real couple, Neither of us thought about the harsh reality that was waiting for us outside.