Faded // Bang Chan

Epilogue - Purpose

"How have you been?" Mrs. Bang asked softly, offering a warm smile. "It's been hard. I hope you've been doing well. It's a difficult time right now but I'm sure it gets easier." Na Ri replied but she was finding it hard to have belief in her own words. "I was in Channie's room the other day and I found something." Mrs. Bang held out an envelope with Na Ri's name scribbled across the front.

"I think this was meant for you and I heard you were leaving soon." She glanced up at Na Ri, tears welling in her eyes at the last link to her son's relationship that remained.

Na Ri took the letter, grasping it tightly as though her life depended on it. A wave of sadness overcame her as Chan's writing  came into her vision. "I thought you should have it." Mrs. Bang smiled sadly as she watched the girl fondly gaze at the letter.

"Thank you." Na Ri muttered, her throat running dry. So many thoughts ran through her mind but she chose to focus on the paper in her hand. She wanted to cry, to scream and yell, to fall asleep and never wake again but she refused to do that. Na Ri refused to fall apart in front of the woman who lost her oldest son.

"I wish you the best in London. Chan would be so so proud of you. You've done so much for him." She placed a hand on Na Ri's shoulder. "Thank you." She said loudly, a sincere look in her eye. She was grateful Chan had met someone like Na Ri. Someone so persistent to remain a part of her stubborn son's life.

Na Ri on the other hand felt regretful. There were so many things she wished they done. Just one more tutoring session, one more hug, one more kiss, just one first date. It all seemed so unfair. Where did Bo Ra go? Why has nothing happened to her? Why isn't Dongwoo charged with murder yet? Why did this happen to Chan?

"Thank you for being so welcoming to me." Na Ri smiled a real smile for the first time since his death. Despite how hard she was finding it she could find salvation in Mrs. Bang's warm aura.

"I should go now. I'm sure you're busy getting ready to go. If you ever find yourself in Korea please drop by." She took a step back, preparing to leave. Na Ri watched as the short woman walked away from the house, leaving her with the sinking feeling she had momentarily forgot.

Once closing the front door she rushed upstairs to her room, quickly shutting the door behind her as her fingers fumbled with the envelope, desperate to tear it open. She heard something drop to the floor suddenly. Looking down she spotted a black USB with a Kangaroo keyring attached to it. She couldn't avoid the smile that tugged at her lips as she bent down to pick it up, fondling the keyring in her hand before inserting the device into her laptop.

She wasn't scared or nervous. She felt ready. She was prepared for whatever awaited her but once the USB loaded and the files appeared her heart began to throb. Nothing could truly prepare her for the four file titles that were showing on her laptop screen.

She clicked on the first one entitled 'The letter'. Na Ri wasn't sure as to what this was about but none of that matter once his face appeared on her screen, taking her breath away.

"Hi, Na Ri. If you're watching this then I guess that means things have been going well between us. I've debated for many nights now on how to tell you the truth, how to admit my wrongdoings to you in a way that wouldn't destroy us but I feel like saying it to your face is something I'll never be able to do." He began, a sad look in his eyes as he fiddled with a piece of paper in his hands.

Na Ri's eyes began to well with tears but she refused to pause the video in fear of bursting into tears.

He brought the paper to meet his gaze, holding it firmly in front of him before he began to recite it.

"October 14th 2015

To Chan,

You were my best friend. You were there through so many things, good and bad. I feel regretful towards you. I know I left you. I disappeared. I'm sorry that I focused more on my relationship than on our friendship. I'm sorry for forgetting to turn up to plans we made. I'm sorry for keeping you in the dark about my life. I'm sorry for avoiding you.