The Hidden Truth

Dark Pages

                              In The Name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful.

                              Dark Pages

I have seen many ups and downs in my life and confined all small and big events in my diary. The diary, which is not only a collection of pages but it is also the only witness of my failed life. I don't want anyone to read it. But it was my need or my helplessness that I spend all my happy days and dark nights in sharing all those moments with it and my whole chapter of life is coming to an end without any friend or an enemy in it. "Paper has more patience than people," I totally agree with this statement and the pages of my diary is listening me without any complaint since last fifteen years.

I will not say that it was an easy journey but I have completed it and now I am on that stage that I have some last moment to live.

"Ma'am, you are so late and now your daughter is in last stage of brain tumor. I am surprised how the effects of this big tumor hadn't seen in her body. One can get allergic attacks, unconsciousness or can even go in coma but she is looking fine. We can't remove this tumor from surgery because it is very risky, she can lose her eyesight or even get life time memory loss or even die in that eight hour surgery. Don't give her any kind of stress and try to make her happy as much as you can and if God wish her life can be either one year, one month or simply one day. Till then, I am giving some medicines and please don't let her know that she is suffering from this disease," these words were of New York's best neurosurgeon Dr. Fitzgerald Clark who thoroughly read my reports in two hours and told all this to a women who was not my mother and who can never become anyone's mother because she don't even know the meaning of word "Mother".

I eavesdropped all these words from outside because I was tired of waiting for that woman from two hours and I went towards doctor's chamber to see what was happening there. My legs get jammed and my body started trembling but I listened all words till the end and that conversation also recorded in my mind word by word. It was strange because my brain has a tumor and I should have got unconscious that time but I somehow managed to return back to my seat in the waiting room. I hadn't given any indications to my so called mother that I knew everything but she was not my mother or can't become anyone's mother as I said and so, she explained me everything word by words that the doctor had told removing that line in which he has warned her not to make me know all this and to keep me happy and tension free. I didn't get surprised because I had expected this from her and she was that women who hates me infinite times and she always wish these things for me and so I was suffering.

Apart from this, she did many favors for my return journey from New York to Saudi Arabia. And now, I am on flight to my home from King Abdullah University of Science and Technology, Mecca, Saudi Arabia leaving my studies in between. I was doing my P.H.D there and this entire thing happened. I was not returning home because I got defeated in the battle of life but I am full of life and can also continue my study in this stage. I was only returning because I want to live my last moments of life with the only person who is whole world for me "My Father".

Who is responsible for this, why all these things happened...? Turning the pages of my diary is like turning the chapters of my life. I am trying to get the answer of my questions from these pages and all I read is something unforgettable and like it happened yesterday.